Flower Fantasies
by Irrevocably Bittersweet
Summary: Fourthyears Lily Evans and James Potter begin to learn the depths of love and the heart, but what will happen to them when everything goes wrong? COMPLETE
1. Marauders and Madness

Author's Note: I've been reading Lily and James stories for about the past month now and I couldn't resist writing one on my own. I hope none of you feel as if I'm taking your idea because, honestly, this just came to me and I had to write it before I lost it. I hope you like it and uhm have...fun? Oh and I'd appreciate anyone pointing out any grammatical mistakes or anything that goes against what J.K. Rowling says.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter (the story as well as the character).

Lily Evans held a great number of attributes, which were adored and envied by those around her, such as her sense of humor, willpower, strength, intelligence, independence, leadership, and especially judgment.

However, she held qualities that many people did not approve of, such as sarcasm, spite, and most of all, her ability to hold grudges, for when Lily Evans held a grudge, she never let it die.

Her bad attributes warded people away, and only four people out of the entire school tried to see the good.

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"REMUS LUPIN!" Professor McGonagall shouted from the front of the room. "I expect such behavior from your colleagues…" she sent a glare to James Potter and Sirius Black. "However, I thought you above such nonsense!"

Remus looked shyly (and with hidden pride) at the picture of Severus Snape stripped to his undergarments.

Professor McGonagall saw no reason for pride in this, and Severus Snape SEETHED with anger.

Lily Evans stared in shock at Remus. She had known he was a Marauder, and friends with the three greatest pranksters in the school. He had admitted several times that he enjoyed pranking. Yet it never ceased to amaze her each time he pulled a new trick.

The Slytherins were laughing even harder than the Gryffindors at the ridiculous picture of Severus.

The bell rang at last, just as McGonagall yelled "20 POINTS FROM BOTH GRYFFINDOR AND SLYTHERIN! AND DETENTION FOR A WEEK REMUS LUPIN, IN HERE EVERY NIGHT FROM 7 TO 10!"

Before she could scream any more, everyone rushed our.

Lily did not usually go down to lunch. She, instead, snuck to the kitchens after classes to eat. She found that as a more balanced schedule for her metabolism as well as health.

Today, however, two pairs of arms grabbed her before she could climb the staircase to the Portrait Hole.

Remus stood in front of her, with piteous Peter Pettigrew sulking behind him. The two other Marauders were the ones who grabbed her.

Remus was dashingly handsome. In Lily's opinion, he was the best looking out of the three, with his flowing, shoulder-length blond hair and piercing slate colored eyes. _He,_ at least, LOOKED intelligent. The other three were the type who looked oblivious if not, put bluntly, stupid.

James was exceedingly handsome, Lily grudgingly admitted. He had unkempt hair, which Lily suspected he did on purpose, and kind brown eyes, the kind you could stare into for hours and hours.

Sirius had shaggy, curly black hair. He was the greatest troublemaker and, somehow, he managed to be a genius.

_Poor Peter_ Lily thought. He was the only chubby one out of the Marauders. _A slow mind with a body to match_.

"LILY!" Remus whined. "The lot of us have been at this school for three years now, beginning our fourth, and you have yet to eat lunch with a friend!"

"That, Remus Lupin, is because of the simple fact that I…have…no…friends!" Her emerald green eyes glared at him maliciously. "Now, may I suggest that you command your GOONS to release me before I take my want and…"

She stared in horror as her wand slowly and tauntingly floated to Remus's hand.

"NOW, will you come along willingly, or do we have to force you?" James asked.

Lily admitted defeat, thought she would not enjoy it. Throughout her entire lunch, she ate nothing and said nothing, spending most of her time sending death glares at the Marauders. Those had no effect on any of them, except Peter, who flinched slightly each time.

"Lily!" Sirius whined. "DO stop before you send Peter on a first class trip to Saint Mungos! Why are you being so…so…"

"Dreadful?" Lily offered. "Contemptible? Obnoxious? Unpleasant? Cantankerous? Down right, bloody DIFFICULT? I like being alone, Sirius, and you bloody lot have disrupted one of the few times of the day I get to be COMPLETLEY alone."

James shook his head pityingly. "Really, Lily. Are you going to hate us for trying to be your friend?" he groaned.

Lily's glare softened, going down notches until it was completely gone.

"See?" Remus beamed. "If you TRIED, at the least, to be amiable, then you could have a great time. After all, we are NOT bad people Lily."

Lily shook her head. "Remus, Remus, Remus," she muttered. Then, without another word, she grabbed her wand from his robe pockets, leapt up, and dashed to the Gryffindor girl's dormitories.

There were cries of surprise and dismay from the four boys, who all got up and chased after her.

Lily, for her weak body, had strong legs. She was fast, but not THAT fast.

After all, James WAS a chaser on the Quidditch team.

Not only that, but he was great with charms and transfigurations.

It wasn't long before she turned a corner and found James and Sirius there, with Remus and Peter closing in behind her. She was trapped.

"What is the BIG DEAL?" Lily practically screamed. She was beginning t get frustrated and angry. She didn't understand the reason for their desperate pursuit.

James and Sirius looked hurt, Remus upset, and Peter scared.

"We just want to be your friend," Sirius muttered.

"Well you're going about it all the wrong way," Lily seethed, attempting to calm down. "Invite me to a social event, ask me to join you to study, question me about homework, but DON'T force me to eat lunch with you! How PATHETIC is that?"

The boys, slightly embarrassed, looked up the stairs, at Severus coming towards them.

"AH LILY!" she shouted gleefully. Lily stood, rooted to the spot with shock, unable to respond when slimly, grease ball Snape HUGGED HER.

That was the last straw, just as she started swearing profusely, an obnoxious bell began ringing. That was even worse. Lily began shaking with anger.

Or was she?

She woke in a cold sweat to her alarm clock beeping, signaling exactly 5:30 AM.

It had only been a dream, an odd, estranged dream.

She could understand Lupin speaking to her and asking her to eat lunch with him. He was her friend after all. But Potter, Black, and Pettigrew? They had never even bothered to send a glance her way.

And SNAPE hugging her? Disgusting! As much as she didn't WANT to hate him, she couldn't stand people who called muggle-borns _mudbloods_. Not that she cared what people thought of her, she was considering the feelings of those other muggle-borns around her.

With a sigh and a dreadful knowledge that the day was not a promising one, she climbed out of bed.


	2. Faltering Forgiveness

A/N: Sorry if I make Lily seem kinda like a very…uhm "unkind" person? Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter 

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James Potter stared wistfully at the canopy over his bed, pondering the dream he had just had.

A girl he had never spoken to in his entire life (Lily Evans, was it?) had come up to him BEGGING for an autograph. He didn't know whom Lily Evans WAS, but by the impression he got, she would never ask _anyone_ for an autograph.

_Well it was only a dream…_ he thought to himself and pushed it aside.

The clock next to his bed told him it was only 5:30 AM. Since he wouldn't have been able to sleep anymore anyway, he got up.

By 6:00, he was showered and ready, walking down to the common room.

Since it was mid-December, the sun had not yet risen and the windows were covered in snow.

There was a fire already burning, and a copper-haired figure sat curled with a book nearby it.

James was shocked to find Lily Evans down here this early, and even more shocked when she spoke to him.

"Potter, I know you're there," she nearly whispered. He took that as an invitation to sit down.

By the look on Lily's face, it obviously wasn't.

"Lily Evans?" he asked, just to make sure. Lily pursed her lips and nodded, looking so much like Professor McGonagall that James laughed.

"Something funny?" she snapped with an evil glare in his direction, which made him laugh even more.

"Chance meeting you here," he mumbled. "What is that you're reading?"

Lily never took her suspicious eyes off him while she spoke.

"_Romeo and Juliet_," she told him.

"Why in bloody hell are you reading that?" James spat.

"Because I admire Shakespeare and his way of thinking. He proved that when something is bound by fate to happen, there's no stopping it, and that lessons can sometimes only be taught by drastic measures, such as a horrible tragedy. Besides, _Romeo and Juliet _is a personal favorite of mine. Two people, so alike, yet so different, come together, barely knowing one another. They move so quickly that it ends in tears. It's almost screaming something that few people realize, and that's that passion needs friendship for a basis. Do you understand?"

James nodded his head, though he did not understand at all. "Anything to shut her up."

He hadn't meant to say it out loud. Yet, there sat Lily, indignant, upset, and most of all, appalled.

"And here I thought you were at least DECENT." With those words, she closed her book, stood up, and walked out of the common room.

James sat on the couch, watching as the fire's glow faded at the same time the sun rose.

With a shrug that SHOULD HAVE made his guilt go away, he walked back to his dormitory.

After all, why should Remus, Sirius, and Peter sleep when James couldn't?

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Lily knew she had overreacted. But she hated how popular Potter thought he could get away with everything. Well, she wouldn't become another of his pawns, one more ADORING fanatic.

She realized, a moment too late, that she was outside during blustering winter weather without the proper coat or shoes.

Well Lily was not weak. She could handle it.

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Remus shook his head shamefully at James.

"She's standing outside without a coat, James," he sighed. James looked out the window and, as always, Remus was right.

"What am I supposed to do about it?" he grumbled.

"APOLOGIZE?" all three other Marauders yelled, even good old Sirius.

James shook it off, his mind still enthralled with her magnificent green stare. He couldn't get those eyes to stop glaring at him, calculating him up, listening to his every thought.

"James?" Sirius asked, waving a frantic hand in his face. "You, all right?"

"Yeah, sorry, my mind was occupied with…with other useless garbage." _Though Lily definitely isn't useless garbage._

James didn't bother explaining to his friends that his mind was caught up on a girl he had never noticed until that morning. He also didn't bother explaining where he was going when he suddenly stood up and walked out of their dormitory.

Honestly, even he didn't know where he was going. He trusted his feet to carry him wherever his unconscious said.

However, that trust was lost when he found himself standing next to Lily, as a single snowflake fell from the sky.

Lily in took a deep breath before hissing, "What do you want?"

"Firstly, to give you this." He took out his wand and conjured a blanket, which Lily grudgingly accepted. "Secondly, I wanted to apologize."

"I only accept heartfelt and pitiless apologies," she spat.

James groaned. "EVANS, come on! PLEASE forgive me? This is rare! I NEVER beg for forgiveness!"

Lily looked at him scornfully. "I like you less and less, Potter," she smirked, throwing the blanket at him and walking towards the door.

Now that was uncalled for, she told herself while trudging through the snow. He WAS kind enough to give me that blanket and come out in this temperature just to ask me to forgive him.

She sighed solemnly at the great oak doors.

_I suppose it doesn't matter anymore anyway._

What she didn't know was that it DID matter, _a lot._

Sirius had watched the entire scene from his window, so he was not surprised when James came into the dorm room seeing with fury.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT WRETCHED BRAT!" he fumed. "I was being perfectly NICE!" With a large ARGH, he plopped back on his bed to mope.

Good thing it was a Saturday.


	3. Contemptible Confusion

A/N: I know that Savage Garden's first CD definitely did not come out until the mid 90's, but we can pretend can't we :). Besides, this IS fiction.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter and I also do not own Savage Garden's song lyrics.

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Lily put the book down for the first time since Potter had approached her.

"What do you want Black?" she asked, annoyance and frustration piping up in her voice.

"I am here on behalf of a James Potter," he said proudly, sticking his chest out as if he was the most important man in the world.

"Oh this is just TOO great," she mumbled. Sirius didn't catch the sarcasm. "And just what does Potter want?" she snapped.

"Well, he wants you to forgive him, of course!" With that, he clutched Lily's hand with desperation. "Oh PLEASE Lillers! James is a great guy! And I've never seen him this upset over any sort of dealings with the female gender!"

"Firstly, never, EVER, call me Lillers. Secondly, why does he care so much what a nobody like me thinks?" she retorted.

"Are you going to hate him for trying to be your friend?" He echoed the words of her dream, sending a chill down her spine.

"Sirius Black, I do not hate Potter for trying to be a friend. I hate him because he's a selfish bloody bastard and a ridiculous, attention-seeking, high-class, PRAT."

Sirius sighed. "Alright Lily. At least I can say I tried."

"Oh how cliché," she said as he walked away from her.

Lily tried to pick up her book and continue reading, but found she had lost interest in the love woes of Juliet.

_The girl was just a wench anyway._

The day was cold, dreary, and horribly boring. Lily did not have Christmas shopping to worry about since the only people she ever shopped for were her parents. An advantage to being a loner.

The library would be no use either since she wasn't in a reading mood.

It was times like that which made Lily wish SOMEONE would try to get to know her well enough to see who she really was, made her hope that maybe somebody would see through the barrier she had built and find the real Lily beneath it.

At her elementary school (a muggle school, of course) she had made friends with nearly everyone in her grade. Her classes were easy to pass without an attempt. The teachers loved her. Everything had been so…

Perfect?

The great feeling she had when she got her Hogwarts letter had disappeared after first term of her first year. Now, she believed it was all a mistake; maybe the letter belonged to _another_ Lily Evans?

No one at this school found her amiable, she struggled to receive excellent in all her classes, half her teachers didn't even notice her…

And only one other student in the entire school had related to her in any way at all.

Though that era in his life passed after the first month at Hogwarts.

Of course, no one brought up James Potter's first month at Hogwarts. Hell, even he didn't remember one tiny little detail, so minor that sometimes even Lily forgot, and each time she forgot she'd let her barriers down, also forgetting just why she held such contempt for James Potter.

As estranged, demented even, as it seems, for one whole month, Lily Evans and James Potter had been, well, FRIENDS.

And there had been no one for her to tell this to after James took advantage of his newfound popularity. There had been no one for her to run to for comfort when her one and only friend had left her all alone.

She always asked no one in particular how it could be so _easy_ to forget someone as quickly as James had forgotten her. A best friend, no matter how long of a time period they were in your life for, should never be forgotten after all.

Perhaps James had been struck with a mind erasing charm? Or maybe he WANTED to forget, badly enough that he did?

But Lily had not forgotten. Yeah, it slipped her mind sometimes in all the rush of everyday life, but she would never forget it completely as James had. She still felt the betrayal and hurt she had experienced when, one day, James left her to be with his new friends, when he stopped speaking to her all-together, stopped looking at her, remembering that she even existed.

She was a wraith to him, someone he did not see or care for unless intruded upon.

_Such as today, _Lily thought to herself. _That was when he had been James, and now he's merely…Potter._ She realized that this morning, things had felt…right. James and she had been communicating. It was almost as if they had never stopped being friends, until she snapped back to reality.

But Lily was not going to forgive him that easily. Her own flame had burned her, and it was time that Potter ignited the fire himself.

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James Potter was wealthy.

James Potter was intelligent.

James Potter was handsome.

James Potter was popular.

His life was perfect. He had everything he wanted and needed.

So why did he feel so empty? Why did he feel a void within him somewhere, buried so deep that he could not find it?

Talking to Lily that morning filled the void. For one brief moment, listening to her speak while sitting near her had made him feel as a whole again.

And his inability to keep his mouths hut had killed that.

And here I thought you were at least DECENT, she had said.

At least? Why just at least? And why simply decent? Why hadn't she said that she thought he was at least nice, at least sweet, at least funny? Why just decent?

Remus patted his friend, who sat moping at a table in the library with his head buried beneath a mountain of books, on the back.

"James, I have made a hobby out of studying people from a distance. Our little flower, by what I have gathered, is not one to let one minor argument or disagreement (your choice) get to her. There must be some other reason she hates you."

"Oh thank you Remus," James said sarcastically, his voice muffled from the pile of books above his head. "It makes me feel a whole lot better believing that someone hates me for something I don't even know I did."

Sirius, once again, didn't catch the sarcasm. "Well, it's good to know something made you feel better at last!" he beamed. Madam Pince, the librarian, hushed at them to quiet down.

"I don't understand," James said while bringing his head out from his shell. "I just don't get why I care so much. I didn't even know this girl existed before today!"

Peter sniffed as if he had something to say, but said nothing.

After an eternity long silence, Sirius finally spoke.

"Full moon's tonight. Feel like practicing our transfigurations?"

James and Peter threw a glance at the downcast Remus and nodded.

_After all, life goes on. With or without Lily Evans._

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"She's taking her time making up the reasons

To justify all the hurt inside

Guess she knows

From the smiles and the look in their eyes

Everyone's got a theory about the bitter one

They're saying,

"Mama never loved her much"

And, "Daddy never keeps in touch.

_That's why she shies away from human affection"_

But somewhere in a private place

She packs her bags for outer space

_And now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come_

And she'll say to him.

I would fly to the moon and back if you'll be

If you'll be my baby

Got a ticket for a world where we belong

So would you be my baby?

_She can't remember a time when she felt needed_

If love was red then she was colorblind

All her friends they've been tried for treason

And crimes that were never defined

She's saying, "Love is like a barren place"

And reaching out for human faith

_Is like a journey I just don't have a map for"_

So baby's gonna take a dive and

Push the shift to overdrive

Send a signal that she's hanging

All her hopes on the stars

What a pleasant dream…

Lily sang along to the song while listening to a muggle device called a walkman. She was alone in her dorm with blinds on the windows and aromatic candles scenting the room.

Coincidence that Lily's favorite scent was that of a lily's.

Savage Garden had a history for Lily, a history of creating a song that had the perfect tune to it's lyrics, and those lyrics had a way of being EXACTLY how Lily felt.

The canopy was draped around her bed, so that the scent of the candles was concentrated in that one area. So, when Sirius Black suddenly tore the curtains open, he got a full blow of aromatherapy to the face, causing his eyes to water and a coughing fit exploding from his lungs.

"Lily!" he managed to croak. "What in bloody hell are you doing?"

Lily gave no reply except to pull her wand out and pointing it threateningly at Sirius, then gesturing towards the door.

He got the hint.

Once he was gone, she gave up regaining the sense of serenity she had before. Deciding that she should study, she blew out all the candles, opened the curtains, and left the room, not bothering to waste her thoughts on how Sirius had gotten into the girl's dormitories.

After all, he was Sirius Black, a mystery to all the world, and that was better left unsolved.


	4. Love and Life

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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The common room was empty when Lily walked down to it. This was an improvement at least.

She curled up on the couch in front of the fire with her new book, _Howl's Moving Castle _by Diana Wynne Jones.

It wasn't long before someone sat besides her and said, "Is this all you ever do? Read and run?"

"Potter," Lily scoffed, closing her book and standing up to leave, only to be pulled back down.

"ONE conversation, Evans," he asked. "Just ONE for today, please?"

Lily sighed. "Let me ask you something, Potter. What are you looking for?"

"What do you mean?" he asked. They both stared into each other's eyes, hardly blinking.

"What are you searching for in life? Happiness? Love? Wealth? Or maybe an escape?"

James took a moment to think about her question. "I guess what I'm looking for in life is, well the meaning of life itself."

"The meaning of life?" A small smirk played at her lips. James blushed.

"I know it's sappy and cliché, but I've made it sort of a 'hobby' to find the reason we're here."

Lily still didn't let go of her gaze. "What makes you think there's only one meaning of life?" When he didn't respond, she continued. "You have to be open to all possibilities, or at least accepting of other points of view. Who's to say that there is only one specific reason we're here? Maybe there are multiple reasons."

"Well what do you think?" he asked.

"I think that every individual creates his or her own meanings. We're all unique on the inside, and were placed here for our own purposes. I think everyone has a reason."

James nodded his head slowly.

"Let me ask you something else, Potter. What is life?" she asked, her emerald eyes glowing.

"Didn't we just cover this topic?" he frowned.

"I'm not asking you the meaning of life. Let me put it this way, how would you define life?"

He didn't answer, confusion etched on every feature of his face.

Lily sighed. "What do you think life IS? Is it a series of tests? A reason for some supreme being to watch us progress? When you hear the word LIFE, you think that life is…"

He still didn't respond.

"Exciting?" Lily offered. "Contemptible? Boring? Unimportant? Life is WHAT, James Potter? I can't make it more obvious!" Frustration grew in her voice. "Life is WHAT? Life is…"

"Beautiful," James whispered.

Lily ceased her tantrum. "What?"

"Life is beautiful," he repeated.

For the first time that entire day, Lily smiled.

The two sat in a silence that, for once, was comfortable.

James looked out the window, at the setting sun.

"Full moon night," Lily said, seeing the direction he was looking. James stood up.

"I should get going."

Lily nodded and watched him walk to the portrait hole.

Before he walked out, he turned around and looked at Lily, who was once more engrossed in her book. "Hey, Evans," he said, causing Lily to glance up. "What's YOUR meaning of life?"

There was a silence where James could almost hear the sun setting.

Finally, she responded.

"To live, of course."

She turned her eyes back to her book.

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Lily couldn't sleep that night. She had done exactly what she wanted to avoid, had an insightful conversation with one James Potter.

James also couldn't sleep. He had finally gotten a glimpse of Lily's inner self, and it was hauntingly familiar.

"Why do I hate him so much?" she asked herself, forgetting that first year at Hogwarts, while at the same time James muttered…

"Why does she hate me so much?"

They both turned over on their sides, glancing at their clocks.

Exactly midnight.

12:00 AM, December 18. No classes for two entire weeks.

Everyone else was cheerful, enjoying the wonders of winter and no classes. For some reason, these two just could not smile, at least not truthfully.

12:01 AM.

Lily rolled over on her back again. She hadn't eaten any dinner, and her stomach gave rumbles of protests.

_The kitchens are always open,_ she thought. _But how to get there undetected?_

James' stomach was growling at him to get out that invisibility cloak of his and head down to the kitchens.

And James ALWAYS listened to his stomach.

Funny how life works, isn't it?

When Lily got to the bottom of the steps, she heard a pair of footsteps descending from the boys' dormitories, but saw no one there.

"Evans!" a voice hissed behind her, making her jump.

"Who's there?" she demanded in a fierce whisper.

James took of his invisibility cloak.

"Are you STALKING me, Potter?" she grumbled.

"Don't be such a Slytherin Evans. What're you doing up in the early hours of the day?"

"Looking for a midnight snack," she glared.

"Well look at that, me too. Just HOW though, Evans, did you think you would get down to the kitchens without being seen?"

"I have stealth, I'd find a way."

"Sure," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Just get under the cloak," he commanded.

Lily looked furious. "I'll be just fine on my own, thank you."

"Evans, stop being so stubborn."

"Potter, stop being so immature."

"I'M the immature one?" he scoffed.

Lily chose not to reply. The problem was that she knew there was no way of getting to the kitchens. The way she saw it, she had two options. One, share the cloak (and the food) with Potter or two, steal the cloak and make a mad dash.

James definitely did not enjoy the option she chose.

He couldn't see where she was and had to rely on his other senses to catch her before she got away.

And he did, right before she climbed out of the portrait hole.

The position was awkward. James had tackled Lily and had managed to trip on the cloak, taking Lily down with him. They ended up with James, face-to-face with Lily, flat out above her, his hands holding hers pinned to the ground in an attempt to stop from falling on her.

It was even worse when he wouldn't move and Lily had no chance of escaping.

"Get off me, Potter," she glared.

"Not until I think of a reasonable punishment," he coldly replied, staring at the fire in her emerald eyes.

Lily groaned with aggravation, impatiently waiting for a torture to be decided.

"Kiss me Evans," he slyly replied.

Lily was outraged. "I WILL NOT!"

"Come on, one peck on the lips won't hurt!"

"Yes, it will."

"Wouldn't you want your first kiss to be with me?" he grinned egotistically.

"Who said it'd be my first?"

His smile disappeared. "I…just…assumed?"

"Assumed that since I'm a loner here, that I've been like this my entire life?"

James blushed.

"Assuming always makes an ASS out of 'u' and 'me'. Now get off me Potter!"

"No." The grin was back. "I don't care if it's not your first. The only way you're getting out is if you kiss me."

Lily groaned, secretly wishing for a miracle to get her out of the mess.

"No, Potter. I've only been on speaking terms with you for a day. I will NOT kiss you."

"That's perfectly fine since it'd be easier for me to just kiss you anyway."

Lily sent a glare that would have made the Dark Lord flinch.

"It's not THAT bad Evans!"

"Yes it is!"

"JAMESY!" a false high-pitched voice erupted from the portrait hole.

The two looked up to see Sirius standing there, sweaty and dirty. "I was just about to go to our dorm looking for you!" He raised his eyebrow at the scene laid out in front of him.

James stood up and helped Lily to her feet, blushing the whole time. Lily was silently praising Sirius for saving her.

"Jamesy, my dear Jamesy, having to beg a girl to kiss him?" Sirius acted the part of James' mother quite well. "Oh woe is me! WOE IS ME!"

"Oh shut up you bloody prat," James glowered to Sirius's amusement. He threw the cloak at Lily. "There you go Evans, have fun. I have other stuff to do."

With those words, he followed the taunting Sirius out of the common room.


	5. Woven Wolves

A/N: Uhm this chapter's not the greatest but thanks to those of you who've stuck with the story this far :) Seeing as how it has only been two days, I'm kinda laughing at myself.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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When Sirius and James had left, Lily realized that her appetite when with them.

Once again, she had ended up not only conversing with Potter, but also FLIRTING with him.

With a solemn sigh, she collapsed on the couch, using the invisibility cloak as a blanket.

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A flustered first year sat upon the stool as some lady placed some hat on her head.

"Oh difficult," it whispered in her ear. "There is wit, an intelligence beyond that of normal capabilities, and a definite thirst for acceptance."

An 11-year-old Lily Evans closed her eyes tightly. The Sorting Hat just described the qualities of a Ravenclaw, but she so badly wanted to be in Gryffindor.

And when the Sorting Hat shouted an echo of her wishes, when a cheer went up from the table with a gold and red banner, Lily looked at the sea of first years behind her, noticing only one.

HE had unkempt black hair and thick black glasses. But neither of those were the reason why she had noticed him.

_It was because…_

_Because…_

_What was that growling noise?_

_Because…_

_Who screamed werewolf?_

_Because…_

The boy with the unkempt hair, why is he screaming? What is that wolf doing to him? What was happening…

An 11-year-old Lily Evans screamed as she watched the boy get attacked by a werewolf while a 14-year-old Lily Evans screamed the first thing that came to her mind.

"JAMES!"

The common room, much to Lily's dismay, was filled with students, some of which screamed at her sudden appearance.

Lily was breathing heavily, feeling the piercing glares of all eyes on her. With a sheepish look about her, she grabbed the cloak and dashed upstairs, just fast enough to catch one girl saying, "I always knew that girl was weird."

As if any more surprises were needed. The moment Lily closed her dormitory door, it opened again and James Potter stepped inside.

"Lily?" he asked worriedly.

That, though it was not meant to be funny, made Lily laugh.

"You called me Lily," she said when he gave her a questioning stare. "You haven't called me that since…first year."

"Why did you scream my name?" he softly asked, as if afraid she would have a breakdown any second.

"Oh bug off Potter," she groaned. "It was just a dream. I'm all right and you don't have to act so…so…_caring_."

James dropped the sweet act. "Whatever you say Evans. But I demand an explanation."

"I just had a dream that you were being attacked by a werewolf. Now, I take pleasure in solitude. Please LEAVE."

James' face had gone pale, but before he left, he said, "That's a lie Lily Evans. No one takes pleasure in solitude, not even you."

The door slammed after him.

Lily collapsed on the bed, still clutching the invisibility cloak.

Potter could deal without it for another day or so. She needed it more than he did at the moment.

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December 18, December 19, and December 20 were all full moon days.

Had Lily cared at all during the previous months of that year, she would have realized all the Marauders disappeared during the full moon nights.

And James' facial expression when she told him about her dream nearly screamed that there was something going on, and she wanted to know what it was.

She wasn't going to let it slip away.

On the night of the 19th, Lily waited by the portrait hole. As midnight rolled around, three of the Marauders snuck downstairs.

Sirius smacked the back of James' head. "You lent your cloak to EVANS?" he muttered. Lily couldn't help smiling. James chose not to respond to Sirius' comment. "James, you're Achilles Heel, I've finally figured it out."

"And what would that be?" James grumbled.

"Lily Evans," Sirius smirked.

"Sirius you bloody prat," James laughed. "Evans hates me, remember?"

"That doesn't stop you from caring about her."

James rolled his eyes.

"Well why else were you BEGGING her to kiss you?" Sirius began to mimic James (quite well actually.) "Oh Lily KISS ME! Oh Lily I'm not THAT repulsive! I take a bath every couple years! Oh Lily this and Lily that!"

James smacked Sirius upside the head. "I'm going to murder you one of these days," he threatened.

"Is that a promise or a threat?" Sirius laughed.

Lily listened intently to their entire conversation, secretly laughing at their immaturity. She followed them all the way to the Whomping Willow, a vicious tree that attacked anything that moved.

For a brief second, Lily wondered what she was doing, following three of the school's greatest troublemakers into a tree that could literally beat her to a pulp.

But that second passed when Peter disappeared and the tree stopped flailing it's branches.

Curiosity overtook her usual common sense.

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James thought he heard a fourth person climb into the hole behind them, but saw no one there. He shrugged it off and kept walking behind Sirius and Peter.

Yet he couldn't shake off that feeling of someone behind him, breathing down his neck. And he DID catch the familiar scent of _lilies._

"LILY!" James said suddenly, turning around, just as a growling erupted from the room they had just entered. "Lily I know you're in here! Get out! QUICK BEFORE…"

Sirius suddenly yelled at James to watch out, transforming into a large black dog at the same time.

Lily screamed in horror as a werewolf lunged at James.

The werewolf heard her scream and charged at her instead, using it's sense of smell to find her.

Sirius then attacked the werewolf from the side.

Through all the confusion, a large stag emerged from where James had been merely moments before.

Lily didn't want to leave, sensing the danger the Marauders were all in.

She groped for her wand in her robes pocket, only to find that it was not there.

That was her cue to run.

When Lily reached the empty Gryffindor common room, she threw the cloak onto the floor and immediately began swearing at herself.

"LILY WHY ARE YOU SO BLOODY STUPID?" she shrieked quietly, smacking her head repeatedly and then collapsing on the couch.

The only thing she could think about was that werewolf lunging at Potter.

He could have died, and it would have been HER fault, all her fault.

Her body ached for sleep. She was sweaty, panting heavily, and on the brink of passing out. But she knew that she would not be able to sleep.

And to add the topping to a perfect "Sunday" she had lost her wand.

How could she have been so BLIND? A full moon, as well as a dream of a werewolf that rattled Potter, and not much could rattle him that way.

She began smacking her head angrily again, but a strong pair of hands grabbed them and pulled them down.

James looked as if he'd been through hell and back. He had large gashes that were bleeding heavily, with dirt smudged everywhere mixed with sweat.

If someone had walked in right at that moment, his first impression would be of a knight completely finished with a perilous mission and now claiming his princess.

It just so happens that Sirius walked in right at that moment. And it also just so happened that he was nice enough to point it out, ruining the image altogether.

"Lily, are you alright?" Sirius asked. Lily could only nod.

There was a long silence where James realized he was still holding Lily's hands.

"You two," she suddenly muttered, "are INSANE! Does the Ministry of Magic know that you are animagi? And just WHAT do you think you're doing following a werewolf around?"

James jumped up suddenly.

"Is he alone?" he blurted.

"Peter's keeping an eye on him," Sirius replied.

Lily grew even angrier at the fact that her fury was being ignored.

"WHAT is this werewolf? Your pet or something?" she yelled.

James looked at her. "No," he said, "but he IS our best friend."


	6. Memories and Mirrors

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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Lily stared at the canopy above her bed, unable to sleep. She didn't want to sleep anyway. In the past two nights, she had obnoxious dreams that ruined, in her opinion, her entire life.

She felt so alone. Granted, she had been alone for four years at Hogwarts, but ever since that morning Potter had sat with her and conversed with her, she felt this void and emptiness that only _a friend_ could fill.

She hated admitting it, but she missed James Potter. He was the only one who had taken the time to get to know her, though he was also the one who destroyed what they had built.

And now that he was trying to start anew with her, she felt herself pushing him away.

Why?

Was she afraid of losing a friend again?

No, James wouldn't let go of her this time. She knew that for certain.

Then why? Why was there this part of her telling her to run the other way every time he came near?

Pathetic, really, when someone hates someone for a reason he or she doesn't even know.

Why was her first month at Hogwarts so…so…distant? Blurry? _Lost_…

A wave of nausea swept over her and she closed her eyes.

The sun was rising. How she knew that was a mystery. She almost felt the movements of it.

Giving up on sleep completely, she threw her covers off and pulled the drapes away.

The other fourth year Gryffindor girls were gone to their families for the Christmas Holidays.

Funny, Lily always used to enjoy the time of year when no one was there to intrude on her privacy. Now she saw it for what it really was.

It wasn't privacy, it never had been. It was downright being alone.

Alone, loneliness, loner.

Those three words were the basis by which Lily had built her teenage years.

Companionship had never been a favorite of hers; she always pitied those who needed someone at all times. They had no individuality, no independence.

But now she longed for it, ached for it.

For four years, she deceived herself into thinking she was better off alone, that she performed better solo.

_Friendship and love just get in the way_ a third year Lily Evans had once told herself.

Why had she wanted to be so…

ALONE?

Remembering her muggle-schooling, she looked back on how much she used to laugh.

And she realized the first real laugh she had in those many years of loneliness was merely a day before.

_With Potter._

Why did all these thoughts lead back to Potter? She knew he had something to do with it all, but if only she could remember WHAT.

What had happened? What could have caused Lily Evans, a sociable, friendly, lively 11-year-old Lily Evans to become who she was reflecting upon right now?

Literally, that is.

The mirror in front of her had given up giving advice years before. Lily had become a lost cause to it.

_But it spoke._

"Lily, darling, it really has been too long," the mirror mumbled.

Lily didn't say anything.

"Your loneliness shows Miss Evans," it said.

She ignored the comment.

"Your eyes have no more fire."

Lily looked at her eyes. They looked vacant, almost dead.

"You have wrinkles."

And of course, she did.

"There are bags under your eyes."

How could she not have noticed those before?

"Sweetie…" the mirror hesitated. "You've lost your ability to smile."

"Well I'm going to get it back," Lily whispered. "I promise you that."

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Remus was lying in the hospital wing. It was nearly eight in the evening. The sun had long since set, but the moon was not expected to come out for another two hours.

He was safe, for now.

Remus heard someone come into the hospital wing, but was far too weak to investigate. There were hushed voices and, after nearly 10 minutes, Madam Pomfrey with Lily Evans came by him.

Lily grabbed Remus's hand, an action that surprised him.

"Miss Evans here," Madam Pomfrey beamed, "has been kind enough to spend her entire day researching werewolf antidotes and buying the supplies needed. She was even kind enough to brew it."

Remus looked at the smiling Lily. He vaguely remembered the night before, but knew that he had almost attacked her.

Madam Pomfrey gave him a potion in a silver goblet. "You will still transform, but you will still maintain your human state of mind."

"Thank you," he stuttered.

"Oh don't thank me," she said. "Miss Evans here did everything."

"Remus smiled at Lily. "Thank you," he whispered, though he felt a simple thank you did not express the intense amount of gratitude he felt. "I'm lucky to have a friend like you."

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Lily walked through the deserted corridors, beaming with happiness.

Remus had called her his _friend_.

She, Lily Evans, who remained solitude for so many years, had a friend. It seemed like something minor, something that was no need for celebration. But if those people who criticized her had spent all their teenage years so far alone and desolate, they would be smiling a smile as large as Lily's was.

That smile that just would not fade.

"Evans," an icy voice hissed from behind. Lily groaned. She was having a good night; she didn't need THIS.

When she turned around, it was to face Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, and several of their goons. Lily wasn't sure just when Snape and Malfoy became such great friends, yet there they were, her two most hated enemies working together.

"What do you lot want?" Lily snapped, seeing their wands grasped in their hands and attempting not to panic. Her wand was still missing.

"Well, aren't you going to pull your wand out?" Snape asked.

"Why bother? You lot can't do anything to me within castle walls. What do you want anyway?"

"To get rid of the filthiest mudblood I have ever met," Lucius replied smugly.

"Good luck with that," she yawned and turned around to walk away.

"Drop the act, Evans, we know you don't have your wand," Snape laughed. Lily's blood went ice cold. Without a second thought, she ran for it, screaming for the person that came to mind.  
"POTTER!"

Why him, she didn't know, nor did she care. All that mattered was that she said it just a moment too late, as always. A gag formed around her mouth and ropes tied around her ankles, tripping her. Pretty soon, her entire body was tied up.

She knew how a fly felt now, wrapped up and unable to escape, at the mercy of a heartless and hungry predator.

She tried to scream through the gag, shocked that they were actually attempting to murder her, right on school grounds.

"In case you're wondering," Lucius said maliciously, "they're all going to be told that little Miss Mudblood went for a midnight swim and some grindylows happened to find her."

Lily began shouting muffled curses and profanities at them.

"Or," Snape drawled, "she could have ventured off into the Forbidden Forest, where the unknown lurk."

Lily gave up swearing at them.

The one day something GOOD happened, the one day someone had considered her a friend, and she was going to die.

Her only hopes were that the lake was either too frozen to throw her in, or all the creatures in the Forbidden Forest were hibernating.

That is, if evil even hibernates.

To her horror, the lake WAS frozen, but there was a hole in the ice, large enough for a 14-year-old Lily Evans to fit through.

The binds were gone, but they had placed an immobile curse on her and threw her in. Lily's last thought before she went under was of James, 11-year-old James laughing with her.

And that's when everything went black.


	7. Kill and Kiss

A/N: The story starts getting incredibly sappy here so just bear with me unless you hate that kind of stuff. I tried delaying the romancey stuff for a lot later but…meh I haven't had anything to do lately so I've been writing mostly. I might have gotten a few spells or names wrong in here and if I did, please point them out.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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James didn't know about the cure Remus had been given, and Sirius and Peter were nowhere to be found.

So he was alone, calmly walking to the Whomping Willow, not taking any care to where he was going. That was when he thudded against a massive Slytherin, standing at the lake edge with…

_Malfoy and Snape? Together? That can't be good. _

"I've been wanting to get rid of that filthy mudblood for years," Malfoy muttered.

The Slytherin James had bumped into was looking around for the source. James made sure to carefully edge away.

"Goyle, knock it off, whatever you're doing," Malfoy snapped.

James looked at the hole in the ice covering the lake, just large enough for a person to fit through.

"Pathetic Evans," Snape laughed, "with her disgusting mudblood ways."

James heart froze. Evans? Lily Evans?

"She's probably more use dead anyway," Malfoy smirked. "Too bad Lily, you were quite ravishing to look at."

James felt the anger rise within him, yet every moment that passed by was a moment less for Lily. He had to act, and quickly before she…

James saw the wands they were holding out, so easily reachable. He was a chaser; he could manage it.

He dashed as quick as he could, snatching the wands from all four members and throwing them in the hole, before ripping his invisibility cloak off to reveal James Potter, seething with fury and worry, wand pointed for attack.

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" he shouted. All four Slytherins stiffened.

"POTTER!" Malfoy's eyes flamed with hate, but a small smirk came to his lips. "Better hurry Potter, drowning is not the only thing your girlfriend's going to be worried about under there."

James didn't need telling twice, ignoring the comment about Lily being his girlfriend. He took a deep breath and plunged, hoping he got some ice-cold spray in Snape's face.

It was too dark under the water. He searched frantically, but to no avail. James was almost positive that she was…

But she couldn't be, not while he could still save her.

Could he? After all, she must be at least unconscious by now. He had to face it; the chances that Evans was still alive were slim.

He lost hope, realizing that his lungs could not handle much more. If he couldn't last that long, then what hope did she have?

HE felt something that felt like a hand rub his leg, taking it as a glimmer of hope. He pushed himself further under, though he knew that his glimmer had faded. There was no one there.

James rose to the surface, coughing water as he met the freezing winter air.

The Slytherins were gone. Instead, two figures stood silhouetted against the moon.

"Where's Evans?" Sirius asked, pulling James to shore and handing him the invisibility cloak. James replied by giving Sirius a pained look of loss.

"No…" Sirius whispered.

They heard a cracking o ice and Peter gasped. A large, eggplant colored tentacle, the size of a tree erupted about 30 feel into the lake. It was wrapped around something limp.

The tentacle threw what it was holding, no, _who_ it was holding. James stood up, prepared to catch her.

And he did.

She was pale, with only her hair as any color at all. She was breathing, though hardly.

"Take her to the hospital wing!" Peter urged. James obeyed instantly.

Madam Pomfrey asked for no explanations. She took Lily from James's arms and put her on an empty bed, then coming to shove James on another.

"Sirius!" James gasped. "What about Remus?"

"Don't worry about him," Madam Pomfrey said. "He's on the bed next to Miss Evans. The sweet girl brewed an antidote potion for him. He's tame, if you'd like to see him." With that, she walked out of the room.

Sirius and Peter went cautiously over to the bed, slowly drawing the curtains.

Remus pounced on Sirius and began licking him.

"REMUS, GET OFF!" Sirius yelled. The wolf slyly jumped back on the bed. "Ah, even our friend Remus likes the taste of revenge. Except that whenever I pounce on you, I am in DOG form, not a disgusting WOLF."

James wanted to laugh, he really did, but he was too worried about Lily.

When Madam Pomfrey came back in the room, James stuttered, "Will she be all right?"

She didn't answer, but instead forced a warming potion that tasted disgusting down James's throat.

"MADAM POMFREY!" he shouted.

"Really Mr. Potter! I have other students to tend to. What IS it?"

"Will Evans, er, Lily be all right?"

Madam Pomfrey's face turned into a frown. "It's impossible to tell. At the moment, I have managed to drain all the water from her lungs. But the poor girl has fractured ribs as well as hypothermia. She'll be here for quite some time, I'm afraid."

Remus let out a howl at that, a depressing howl in lament for Lily.

Lily coughed violently and everyone stared at her expectantly, but nothing happened. Madam Pomfrey poured some warming potion down her throat and then left to go back to her office.

"Would one of you be so kind as to explain the reasons for this situation?" Professor Dumbledore, who strode in through the hospital wing's main doors, said. All the conscious occupants of the room knew that Dumbledore only appeared when he knew something important had happened, and they saw this as a glimmer of hope that perhaps, finally, Snape and Malfoy would be expelled.

"Well sir," James stuttered. "We don't know the whole thing, but we DO know that Snape, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle tried to kill Lily!"

Dumbledore said nothing but glanced at James. There was no shine in his eyes.

"Sir?" Sirius said. "You believe us, don't you?"

"Was there anyone around who may have been a first-eye witness…"

"Sir," James interrupted. "I arrived after Lily had already gone underwater. The four bloody…the four prats were standing there talking idly about her death!"

Dumbledore finally smiled. "Mr. Potter, who retrieved Miss Evans from the water?"

"Well…actually…you see I TRIED to but she had disappeared on me. It was…the giant squid saved her."

"I shall have a conversation with the giant squid," he said, ignoring the strange looks everyone sent him. It WAS Dumbledore after all. "Depending on what he says, we shall decide on a punishment."

"For who?" Sirius asked, but Dumbledore had already walked out the door.

"Confound it all!" James growled. "Dumbledore's not going to believe us, Malfoy and Snape are going to get away with attempted murder, and WE are going to get in trouble for being the heroes!"

"Maybe not," Peter squeaked. "I think Dumbledore has more sense than that. Besides, the squid knows what happened."

That didn't make James feel any better. He and the giant squid had a, uh, history?

Either way, Lily was quite possibly lying on her deathbed.

_NO, _James told himself firmly. _There is no chance that Lily will not live. _

Madam Pomfrey appeared moments later, ushering Sirius and Peter out and forcing James to lie down. Though the lights were turned off, the glow of the full moon showed all of Lily's pale, fragile state. The bed on the other side of Lily quivered and Remus began whimpering slightly.

James went over to his friend, sitting on the bed and stroking his fur, all the while staring at Lily.

She was hardly breathing.

_But aren't the greatest moments in life supposed to be the ones that take your breath away?_

So why was Lily's breath being taken away during a time of danger and dread?

_Maybe she's dreaming of something (or someone) that's taking her breath away. Maybe each shallow intake is really a miracle, taking place in her dream._

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Lily knew that James was on the other bed; she was conscious of everything around her. but she could not react. She could not tell James a thank you for saving her life, which she so desperately wanted to do.

It wouldn't be a first, after all. He's saved her life before, hasn't he?

They were in their first year at Hogwarts, one of the first days of school. They were getting flying lessons and…

And Malfoy had jinxed her broomstick, with Lily on it. The broom began performing horse tricks, a hundred feet in the air, while Lily (who was afraid of heights at the time) clutched on for dear life. James flew up to her side and brought her back down safely.

Then there was that time in the Forbidden Forest, when a centaur almost trampled her to death, and James once again saved her.

He saved her from more than death, especially getting in trouble.

How many times had they brought out his invisibility cloak and snuck around Hogwarts, pestering the ghosts and suits of armors?

And then, it all stopped. Just like a heart can stop beating, their friendship stopped existing.

It wasn't because James had become popular. No, he had been popular since his first day, but that hadn't affected their friendship at all.

So what WAS it? All the reasons she had dreamt up were not the right ones.

An image flashed through Lily's mind, brief, yet very vivid, of an upset 11-year-old boy reading a letter from his father.

She was so CLOSE. What was it? She could feel the memory trying to get away, flailing back to the hidden corners of her mind. But she wouldn't let it get away, not this time.

James was watching Lily. Her eyes were squeezed in concentration and her lips were pursed. What WAS she doing?

A shock went through Lily's mind and she sat up straight, breathing heavily. James stood and rushed to her, Remus watching them both closely.

"Lily," James whispered.

Lily looked at him, gazing directly into his soft eyes. She didn't say anything, but merely sat there, searching his soul.

"I'm so close, James," she whispered, leaning a little closer.

"Close to what?"

"Your lip…I mean the tru…I…I…I don't know."

It was almost instinct, as if they had meant to be this way since the starts were first created. They both sat with their faces so close they could feel the other's breath, fingers intertwined in such a comforting way that they forgot they were two different beings.

James kept glancing from her fiery emerald eyes to her ruby red lips, both just like a jewel. After all, Lily was a jewel herself.

And they both finally took the plunge, lips locking, and everything around them melted away.

Remus wagged his tail happily.


	8. Reminiscing Reality

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter :)

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Their lips were still locked when something opened in Lily's mind, something she had long forgotten and tried so hard to remember.

A great number of things opened in James's mind, things he should never have forgotten.

To think only two days ago, he believed this girl to be a compete stranger, someone he had never noticed before.

Lily pulled away, opening her eyes to stare at him.

"Lily, I'm so sorry," he whispered, "for everything. For forgetting about our friendship, forgetting about US, forgetting about you…"

Lily did not stop staring at him. There was a reason she had hated James Potter, and that reason was…

Well, that reason actually didn't exist.

James was still apologizing, not realizing that Lily's mind was elsewhere.

"…I mean it's horrible of me to simply forget I had ever had a best friend…"

Lily put a finger to his lips.

"It wasn't your fault, James," she mumbled. "I don't understand it myself…"

"Well now," Madam Pomfrey said, coming out of the door with her hands on her hips, "Miss Evans, you should be resting and Mr. Potter, you should be on a separate bed." The sternness in her voice when she said these words made them immediately obey.

Sleep came easy to Lily, since her body felt weak, broken, fragile.

Like it had been the first day she met Potter.

_Innocent, muggle-born Lily Evans did not know where Platform 9 and 3/4, was, and her parents were not there to help her. She dared not ask a police man, and no one else seemed willing to help._

_She stood between Platforms 9 and 10, in hopes someone would help her._

_Lily hated feeling so defenseless. The damsel in distress role was just not hers to play._

_A young boy with untidy black hair and a cart with similar belongings as hers kissed his mother good-bye; assuring her he knew how to get on the platform._

_Lily cautiously walked up to him._

_"Excuse me," she smiled her best grin._

**James had never seen this copper-haired girl in all his life, but when she smiled at him, he couldn't turn away. Trying to seem like a "proper gentleman," he bowed. The girl laughed and her blazing emerald eyes shone.**

**James had gone fishing before, and he knew that you always needed good bait to grab attention.**

**Her smile had done that.**

**And when that attention was caught, you reel them in.**

**Her eyes were doing that.**

_Lily was surprised to see just how many people spoke to this James Potter. Term hadn't even started yet and he knew EVERYONE. He got invitations to sit with a lot of different people, each with (not surprisingly) only one seat left open for him and only him._

_She was even more surprised to see James decline each one (including a compartment filled with very pretty older girls) and tell people he already had someone to sit with._

_Lily wasn't surprised when it ended up being SHE he wanted to sit with. Being surprised was a massive understatement. _

**James Potter had taken a liking to Lily Evans. Once they settled in their own compartment, he saw that she was brilliant.**

**And yet she knew nothing of the wizarding world. Lily was the kind of girl you could go to asking what she wanted for her birthday and she'd name off some ancient books, some form of painting, or even something like…**

**"A kiss?" James questioned one day, when they were playing chess (wizard's chess that is.)**

**Lily nodded. "The deal was that whoever lost has to do whatever the winner wants, and I want you to kiss me."**

**James blushed and looked down. "It'll be my first," he muttered, looking up to see her facial expression.**

**She was smiling.**

**"Mine too."**

Lily Evans was academic.

James Potter was athletic.

Lily Evans was fragile.

James Potter was foolish.

Lily Evans loved reading.

James Potter loved riding.

Lily Evans was in love with a James Potter.

James Potter was in love with a Lily Evans.

Some people find it's skeptical to be in love at such a young age. Not only that but love at first sight isn't very…realistic.

But once something is written in the stars, NOTHING will change it, not even the intrusion of an over-bearing father who is forbidding his son to go off kissing a muggle-born.

James Potter was furious with his father. He had asked his parents to allow Lily to stay with them for the Christmas holidays.

His reply had been that James was not allowed to speak to, look at, or even notice one such Lily Evans.

They didn't know there was a curse sent with the letter. They didn't know that the very moment both pairs of eyes finished reading the horrible thing, their lives had changed.

_So that was what it was._ Lily Evans woke up in the hospital wing, just in time to see the sunrise.

Everything made sense. All the pieces of the puzzle were now put together.

But one question remained.

Why hadn't Lily forgotten her friendship with James? She admitted that she would rather have hated him than forgotten such a boy existed. But the curse shouldn't have let her remember anything from their companionship, and yet she had.

Lily rose from her bed, wincing a little, and walked to the large window. There was a clear view of the lake's eastern horizon.

The mixture of blues, blacks, pinks, oranges, and purples was wondrous, all revolving around one answer to her meaning of life as well as why James had been haunting her for four years.

_Love._

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A/N: Well I had been debating for a while whether I should just end it there or keep writing, but I realized I still had some loose ends to tie as well as following what J.K. Rowling has said in her first five books about Lily and James…Sooo this is not the end yet :)


	9. Wisdom and Wands

A/N: Well I just finished reading HBP and wow…overwhelmed. This isn't one of my greatest chapters buuuut I hope you like it anyway? Things are going to get more complicated soon for J/L, so this isn't the last chapter yet! I found a ton of mistakes from previous chapters that I really don't feel like bothering to fix…for one thing every time I said it being four years that Lily had been alone, well since they're in their fourth year in this book it should be only three years. And just so you know, the first Saturday they began talking was the 18th, Sunday the 19th, and Monday the 20th. I messed up the dates too so yeah I thought I'd clarify that.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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Lily sat on the bed in the hospital wing, still deep in thought of her revelations from that morning. It was half past three on Tuesday, December 21, and a blizzard was roaring outside the warm walls of Hogwarts.

Remus (back to his human form) had taunted James and Lily upon waking for their thought-to-be-private kiss. James had threatened a good many things to Remus, some of which Lily had gasped and scolded him for.

James, as Lily had expected, remembered all those once-lost details that their little-bit-more-than-friendship contained, including the letter that his father had written. He and Remus had left a few hours before, James hesitant to leave Lily's side.

It was an odd feeling, knowing that her years of loneliness had been because of one simple request from a boy to his father. It was also odd knowing that, merely days before, James and still not known of her existence and she had hated his guts.

But the oddest feeling of all was this feeling of remorse deep within her, because she knew what the next step was for James and her, and didn't want to have to bother with it. Yet, it was a necessity that she couldn't do without.

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James knocked on Professor McGonagall's office door. The door opened instantly and the old, strict professor motioned James in.

"Potter," she said with a nod of her head. "The giant squid would not give any tale of the happenings of the previous night and, therefore, your story has to witness nor alibi. I believe, then, that I am forced to take 10 points EACH from Gryffindor and give detentions for you, Miss Evans, Mr. Black, and Mr. Pettigrew that you will serve the first Saturday after holidays."

"Detention?" James groaned. "For what?"  
"For attempting to put blame on Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Snape," she replied, not taking her stern gaze off James.

James groaned again. Forty points taken AND detention? Not only that, but also two greasy slime balls were let off the hook.

_And all because the stupid squid wouldn't talk._ He would have to remember to fly over the lake and drop something on the squid's head.

Lily received news of their punishments later that evening, outraged and furious to the point where Madam Pomfrey threatened to kick James out because he was "overexciting her."

The bearings of his news, however, had not taken her mind off what she had to tell James as being the right thing to do.

He sat on her bed, holding one of her hands while stroking her hair.

"James," Lily said softly, hoping he wouldn't hear the sadness in her voice. "Has it occurred to you at all that it HAS been over three years since we discovered…er…each other?"

James shook his head slightly, signifying that the though had crossed his mind but he thought nothing of it.

"James, we have grown, matured, developed, and so much more. Who we were back then is not exactly who we are now."

James frowned. "All this has some depressing point, doesn't it?" he whispered.

"James," Lily stuttered, realizing just how much she loved saying his name, "we have only begun speaking to each other again a few days ago. I hardly know anything about who you are NOW, and the same goes to you. I don't want to plunge before taking a breath," she smiled, "as I experienced that last night and didn't enjoy it one bit. I think that we shouldn't be THIS quite yet." She gestured towards their held hands. "If there's anything I've learned, it's that 'Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast.' The best things come to those who wait. James, it just wouldn't be the best idea to continue a relationship from three years ago."

"I understand," he nodded. "But it'll be hard for me Lily. All day now I've wanted to see your face, hold your hands, breathe the same air you breathe even. I'm in love with you, Evans."

Lily saw there was no hint of this being false in James's eyes. Flattered as she was, she just couldn't give in to him, not yet anyway.

"Another thing, Potter," she said, a little more strictly than before. "It wouldn't be wise to go around telling everyone about Malfoy's and Snape's little plot. Rather, I don't want you mentioning it to anyone, EVER."

"But EVANS!" James groaned. "They tried to kill you! Don't you want revenge?"

"'In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; but in passing it over, he is superior.'"

"How many quotes have you memorized, Evans?" James smiled.

"I have many more, Potter. But right now, the only relevant ones are ones like 'An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.' I'm not going to sink down to their level, and that's what'll make me better than them. Potter, isn't it enough that I'm ALIVE? Is my life not enough for you?"

James fell silent. They both had released their hands, but James did not stop stroking her hair.

"Father's not going to be pleased," he frowned. "I don't see why he has such a problem with muggles. All the muggle-borns I know are far more ravishing and interesting than pure-bloods."

"How many muggle-borns do you know?" she asked.

"To be honest, just one."

Lily smiled despite herself.

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Christmas eve edged closer and closer, and Lily panicked as she actually had people to buy gifts for. Would Potter, Remus, Black, and Peter really care that much if they didn't get a present from her?

She resolved the matter by sneaking to the kitchens on the night of the 23rd and receiving four different cakes. It wasn't the greatest, but that was all she could manage that year.

Christmas Eve finally arrived, with most of the Gryffindors in the common room having a party. The four Marauders were nowhere to be found.

Lily had, surprisingly, opened up to people a little more, though she should have known it would happen eventually. One girl, whom Lily had never spoken to in her entire life, had seen how much Lily had been with the Marauders and, almost instantly, attempted to become friends with her.

However, despite Lily's now amiable feelings, the girl had been shunned and humiliated when Lily chose to read a book over converse with her.

Though it was Christmas Eve, despite the large party surrounding her, ignoring all the exclaims that she was crazy, Lily sat curled up with yet another book in front of the fire.

Suddenly, the book floated out of her hands forcefully and was thrown aside. Not only that, but a branch of mistletoe hovered above her.

"Potter, take that bloody cloak off," she laughed.

"Isn't it muggle custom to kiss under the mistletoe?" he asked, taking the cloak off and giving her an innocent stare.

Lily sighed as if it was the most tragic thing in the world, surprising a smirk. "Well, I can't go against my own traditions. That would be horrible hearsay."

Lily felt the eyes of a hundred people on her as James swooped in to what Lily had expected to be a peck, but ended up being a long and passionate kiss.

James was not bothered by the stares at all. On the contrary, he delved deeper, wanting a bit more than a kiss on the lips.

Lily, however, shoved him off, looking harassed and furious. Grabbing her book, she stormed off to her bed.

James slouched into the chair. "Good going," he muttered, ignoring the fact tat all eyes were still on him, appalled that someone had denied the famous James Potter.

Muttering darkly all the way there, James trudged off to his dormitory.

He awoke the next morning to a large whooping noise Sirius was making.

"My family didn't send me anything!" he happily claimed. Though this would have seemed upsetting for anyone else, Sirius jumped on his bed for sheer joy. His family sent him spiteful gifts since he was not exactly what their standards of a son was.

James first noticed the square box from Lily on the top. He already knew what was inside it, a vanilla cake covered with chocolate frosting that the house elves in the kitchens made. He had followed her (with his invisibility cloak) all the way there and back. Sirius, however, did not know what was in the square box, and when he opened it, he clapped happily.

"IT'S LIKE CHRISTMAS IN JULY!" he gleamed, but then frowned. "Only it's Christmas in December…"

James ignored the idiocy of his best friend and continued unwrapping his presents. A gold watch (was it?) from Sirius. Knowing his friend, however, told him to handle the present carefully.

"It won't blow up," Sirius mumbled. "Just thought you'd enjoy knowing just which direction Lily was in all the time, since you love stalking her. You know, in case you happen to need her." He winked, or made an attempt to.

And, of course, when James looked closer at the watch, there was only one hand, pointed in the direction of the girl's dormitories.

"I charmed it myself," Sirius exclaimed proudly.

'I don't understand how he can be so dim but such a genius at the same time," Remus laughed.

"Did Lily give ALL of us cakes?" Sirius groaned. "How original is that?"

"What did you get her James?" Remus asked, choosing to throw a pillow at Sirius rather than answer.

James smiled mysteriously. "She'll be 'enchanted' to see it, we'll keep it at that."

James hadn't told anyone what he had gotten for Lily, though it shouldn't have mattered that much anyway. Firstly, since they were only friends and secondly, it wasn't that great of a present.

Lily, however, seemed to think it was. When she opened the long thin package revealing a brand new, well-polished wand, she nearly squealed with joy. The note attached said, "Mahogany, 14 inches, with Unicorn hair. Ollivander said it'd be best for you. It took a lot of trouble to get it, so you better not lose this one, Evans."

Lily bounced out of bed, leaving her (surprise) other presents unwrapped, dashed to the fourth years boy's dorm, slammed the door open, jumped on James Potter's bed, and knocked him over with the forceful hug she enforced, causing them both to land on the floor with a thud.

"Potter, that was really thoughtful!" she said, kissing him on the cheek and then standing up. James was blushing and did not move. He had not wanted Lily to get off him, but she had and how he was stuck in a daze.

Lily then remembered the pile of presents she left unwrapped and dashed back to her dorm, knocking Sirius down on her way. He then chased after her, seeking revenge. James, Remus, and Peter heard Lily scream and a loud thud.

When they walked down to the common room, they found Sirius tickling Lily while she was attempting to hex him.

"Sirius," James whined, walking over to him. "Don't do that to her. That's my job."

Sirius gladly moved aside as James began mercilessly tickling Lily.

"James…no…please…this…not…no…" she attempted to say in-between laughs. When James finally did release her, she huffily pulled his pajama pants down (revealing a pair of boxers with broomsticks on them) and ran away to her dormitory smiling to herself all the way.

It was then that James Potter vowed that Lily Evans was never going to have another peaceful moment as long as he lived.


	10. Terror and Tears

A/N: To Queen Of Duct Tape, yeah I'm not really following exactly how J.K. Rowling made it go. Really everything that makes this fourth year should just be changed to fifth and it could kind of match the book? But I guess I'm just going to keep it at fourth year.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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"Love, such a small word to describe something so big. It's a mystery really, one that would be a shame to solve. Those who know no love are the most depressed and most often to go wrong."

Lily looked drowsily at the book in her lap.

_Love is a mystery,_ she thought. _One of those things that needs to be here for more reason than one, causes as much pain as it does good. Why is it so irresistible? Why can no one stop themselves from matters of the heart? Whether it's passion, friendship, or even family, no one can seem to resist it. Love is the reason we cry when death occurs, the reason we smile at our friends. Those who believe they love nothing even love, since they love the solitude they confine themselves in._

_And everything has an opposite._

_Wasn't hate the reason Voldemort (_with a shudder at his name) _was killing? For hate? Or was it for spite, or power? Or maybe it WAS love, loving to be feared and acknowledged as someone different._

Lily looked at yet another newspaper article about another wizarding family found dead, the youngest member being only four years of age. Through all the Christmas cheer, someone found the ability to destroy it. One person bluntly pointed out that, all throughout the year, the mysterious killings kept edging closer and closer to Hogwarts creating a chain of the dead leading to their school. Of course, panic broke out instantly, and now everyone silently feared for what was going to happen next, who would be the next to die.

"Funny how one little suggestion can turn Christmas cheer into Christmas fear," someone said behind her.

"Potter," she said. The bitterness each time she said that name had noticeably disappeared. "Why is it that you always seem to find me when I'm all alone and thinking?"

"Because," James said, sitting next to her, "you're ALWAYS alone and thinking."

"That's a good point," Lily laughed, though not as heartily, James noticed.

"Something's wrong," he said. Lily shook it away. "Evans, Christmas is a time for sharing, so share your problems with me." She shook her head again.

"Nothing," she mumbled. "It's nothing."

James knew that her nothings were not nothings at all, but definite something's. "Lily Evans, I think you're lying."

"James," Lily nearly begged. "It's nothing, I swear to you that. The only thing depressing me is all this talk of death and the tension it causes."

James knew that she was lying, but decided to be quiet. She would tell him what was wrong when she felt the need to, and right now that need was just not there.

Lily's emerald eyes stared at the burning fire, dancing to its song. The honest truth was that she didn't know what was nagging at her. In the past week the entire course of her life had changed, and all because of a dream that the boy sitting next to her had. Of course, James had told her every vivid detail of the dream, and she had laughed at the idiocy of it all. Yet, if it wasn't for that dream, he wouldn't have come to the common room and conversed with her, he wouldn't have intruded upon her midnight snack, she wouldn't have cared about the dream of the werewolf, she wouldn't have followed him to the Whomping Willow, she wouldn't have discovered Remus's secret, she wouldn't have brewed the potion, she wouldn't have met up with Malfoy and Snape, he wouldn't have saved her, they wouldn't have been in the hospital wing together, they wouldn't have kissed, they wouldn't have uncovered their past, they wouldn't have celebrated Christmas together.

Lily noticed how everything went from he wouldn't have or she wouldn't have to _they _wouldn't have. The past week turned Lily and James from a she and he to a they.

Well wasn't that what love was? The uniting of two individuals into one?

As comforting as it was to know and feel love, something was still at unease within Lily.

"Lily?" James asked, breaking her dream barrier. They had spent nearly ten minutes in silence. "Are you in love with me?"

"Haven't I told you I love you already?" Lily smiled.

"Yes, but I mean are you IN love with me? There's a difference."

Lily stared at the fire again, her eyes dancing once more. She didn't respond.

"Lily, answer my question please," James asked, a cold grip upon his chest. The amount of time it was taking her to answer could not signify anything he hoped to hear.

"James," she finally responded, still staring at the fire, "I love _you,_ present day James Potter, but I'm IN love with you, 11-year-old James Potter."

There was a pause where his entire world seemed to freeze, his life seemed to fade, and his heart could be heard shattering.

"It's really important to me," she continued, "that you and I remain friends and only friends. We'll see other people experiment with different love interests, all the while remaining friends. That way we can know for certain if we were meant to be, or if we can find someone better."

James pulled himself together. "Is it really that important to you?" he asked. When Lily nodded, still avoiding his eyes, he knew it was time for him to give up on persuading her that they didn't need time. He stood up and walked to the stairs, pausing to say one last thing. "I found my meaning of life, by the way."

She finally looked him in the eyes, his soft brown gaze being pierced by her fiery emerald one. "What would that be?" she asked.

"My meaning of life is you, Lily Evans. I don't care how long it takes, how many other people we date. In the end it'll just be me and you, and I'm willing to be patient, I'm willing to wait for you."

Lily smiled slightly and said, "I'll wait for you too, James, but I won't wait forever."

Without another word, they turned their backs on each other, and neither knew that the other had silent tears running down their faces.

_Tears so pure that diamonds fade._


	11. Dormant Dancing

A/N: Wow writers block has begun kicking in.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter. I also do not own Savage Garden's lyrics (their songs really help me out a lot in this story.)

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_Dear Father,_

_Firstly, I would like to wish you a happy Christmas, though this letter is a day or so late. I enjoyed the wonderful gifts that mother and you chose to give me._

"Even though you know I don't like reading." James glowered at the books his parents had sent him and then continued to write.

_Sirius, Remus, Peter and I have been doing well and attempting to stay out of trouble._

"Though you know that's a lie."

_The four of us have made a new friend. She is intriguing, inspirational, independent, insightful, and most of all, in a social class YOU would approve of. I think you will greatly enjoy her presence over the spring holidays, since I have invited her (as well as the other three) to stay at our manor. We have enough rooms for them; so don't try getting out of it by claiming we don't. Besides, their parents have already been consented and there's no turning back now._

"Can't say no now," he exclaimed to himself, proud of his scheme. He had, obviously, not asked any of his four friends to stay with him during the spring holidays, but felt that it was better to trick his parents into agreeing first.

_Once again, happy Christmas._

_Your son,_

_James_

He had never, as far back as he could remember, told his parents "Love James," or even breathed the word to them. In public, they made it seem that they loved and cared for each other, but really James felt nothing for his parents. All they cared about was social status, money, and power. It was a wonder to James why they hadn't become Death Eaters.

_Probably because there's no money involved._

James had, in his letter, made sure not to say just WHO the girl he had become friends with was, and planned on not letting his parents know her real name until AFTER they accepted her.

"After all, it's just a name," he mumbled.

"'What's in a name? That which we call a rose/ By any other word would smell just as sweet,'" Lily quoted behind him, making him jump. "'So Romeo would were he not Romeo called/ Retain that dear perfection which he owes/ Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name/ And, for thy name, which is no part of thee/ Take all myself.'"

"I never realized how poetic Shakespeare was until I met you," James smiled. Lily pulled up a chair next to him.

They sat in the library, where James had gone for some peace of mind from Sirius. Last he checked, his friend was raving about some girl who called him some rather nasty names when he called her a tease.

Lily smiled warmly at him. "Decepting thy own parents?"

James laughed. "Thy perception ought be praised, for thou art brilliant."

Lily snorted. "You bring shame to early modern English."

"And you bring shame to us Shakespeare haters."

Madam Pince hushed at them to be quiet.

Lily lowered her voice to a whisper. "Shakespeare was a wonderful writer."

"Shakespeare was a prat."

"You're just jealous because he knew how to get a girl."

"Excuse me?" James scoffed. "I can get any girl I want."

"You haven't gotten me."

"Who said I wanted you?"

"Fine then," Lily smiled, "I guess we'll NEVER be together. Goodbye." She stood up, but James grabbed her wrists.

"NO! I was joking. I want you Lily Evans. I want you so badly."

"JAMES!" Lily gasped. "You perverted little…"

James glared at her, about to say something when Madam Pince came over to them and yelled at them to get out. In the flurry, James forgot his retort.

"Why were you there anyway?" James asked while they walked to the owlery.

"Sheer boredom," she replied.

"Ran out of books to read?"  
"Duh."

The rest of their trip was spent in a comfortable silence. While there, the owls broke the comfort of the quiet and both found something burning within them.

Lily found a burning desire to run away from James.

James found a burning desire to lunge at Lily, covering her with (a little bit more than) kisses.

But neither did what their minds were screaming to do.

While they walked down the stairs, Lily's legs yelled at her to take a different route while James's legs yelled at him to carry her all the way back to Gryffindor tower.

And still, both ignored the shouts.

When they reached the front doors, Lily's gut told her to dash out the doors while James's gut told him to take Lily into the nearest empty classroom and kiss her passionately.

But they still did nothing.

When they reached the common room, Lily ran to her dormitory without a word being said.

"Jamesy!" Sirius exclaimed. "Up for a game of exploding snap?"

"Not right now Sirius," James grumbled. "I'm off to take a shower, a nice…cold…shower…"

Sirius stifled a snort. "You could always dive headfirst into a snow back," he offered, not bothering to hide his grin.

"Yeah I should throw YOU headfirst into a snow bank," James threatened while storming off to the boy's shower rooms.

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Lily stared onto the completely white grounds, untouched and undisturbed. The sun shone for the first time in a week, reflecting on the snow blindingly.

Unfortunately, classes were to resume the following day. Lily sighed dejectedly and continued to fiddle with her wand. The wood felt warm under her fingertips and a tingling sensation erupted through her body.

She found that she couldn't stay with James for long periods of time since, whenever she did, she felt an urge to run away.

James had taken to taking long, cold showers every morning and night, each day he spent with Lily.

Both hoped that their phase would pass over soon.

Sirius couldn't resist pointing it out to James each time Lily passed by them, just to spite his friend. By that last day of holidays, Remus and Peter had to hold James down from tearing Sirius into a million pieces.

"At least Lily doesn't notice," Remus attempted to comfort James.

"Yeah but everyone else sure does," James groaned, "and someone's bound to point it out eventually."

Remus was trying very hard not to laugh. "Well…she'd definitely be flattered."

James stormed out of the room grumbling.

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_I'll be your dream _

_I'll be your wish_

_I'll be your fantasy_

_I'll be your hope_

_I'll be your love_

_Be everything that you need_

James felt silly listening to this song, yet it somehow related to his feelings.

_I'll love you more with every breath_

_Truly madly deeply do_

The song had an essence to it, one that made him smile.

_I will be strong   
I will be faithful_

_'Cause I'm counting on_

_A new beginning_

_A reason for living_

_A deeper meaning_

Lily didn't know he was there, while she stood leaning over the windowsill, staring longingly out it. She looked so serene, so Goddess-like that James found himself falling in love all over again.

_I want to stand with you on a mountain_

_I want to bathe with you in the sea_

_I want to lay like this forever_

_Until the sky falls down on me_

That was just how he felt with Lily, this need to protect her, be with her, hold her.

_And when the stars are shining brightly in the velvet sky_

_I'll make a wish, send it to heaven_

_Then make you want to cry_

_The tears of joy _

_For all the pleasure and the certainty_

American muggle music really wasn't that bad. This song made him feel calm and at ease.

_That we're surrounded _

_By the comfort and protection of _

_The highest power_

_In lonely hours_

_The tears devour you_

A voice joined into the song, strong and beautiful, one he recognized as Lily's.

_Oh can't you see it baby_

_You don't have to close your eyes_

_'Cause it's standing right before you_

_All that you need will surely come_

Lily's voice was soft and fragile, as beautiful as the most vivid sunrise and as sad as a dove's last cry.

_I'll be your dream_

_I'll be your wish_

_I'll be your fantasy_

James's breath was felt on the back of her neck when he sung those words. He wrapped his arms around her waist and they slowly moved together to the words.

_I'll be your hope_

_I'll be your love_

_Be everything that you need_

_I'll love you more with every breath_

_Truly madly deeply do_

_I want to stand with you on a mountain_

_I want to bathe with you in the sea_

_I want to lay like this forever_

_Until the sky falls down over me_

_I want to stand with you on a mountain_

_I want to bathe_

_With you in the sea_

_I want to live like this forever_

_Until the sky falls down over me_

They finished the song, voices in beautiful harmony, bodies in perfect unison, and though the song was over, neither made an attempt to move.

Lily knew that was how she was destined to be, caressed in James's arms dancing to a song that still flowed through them though no one else could hear it.

_But not yet._

Though her body pleaded her to remove herself from James's grasp, she didn't move. She was the way she wanted to be, the person who ignored the silence of her body and listened to beating of her heart.

_Just wait a little longer._

She didn't want to wait. Something within her longed to be this way forever, safe in James's arms.

_Patience is the only way this'll work out._

She had been patient for three years. How much longer did time need? Those three years would never be regained. There was no chance for her to relive every moment, every memory, and change them so that she could be with James, the way she was meant to be.

And finally, after an eternity (that was only a minute) of serenity, Lily removed herself from James's hold. No words were even whispered in fear that it would ruin the passion apparent in the atmosphere.

James kissed her hand and stared adoringly into her eyes before walking out of her dormitory, just as Lily's roommates walked in.

After all, timing was everything.


	12. Pimples and Potions

A/N: Yeah these next few chapters are those little lulls where ideas that stick completely to the plotline are low and inspiration is lacking…and things are getting hectic since one of my best friends who I've known for nine years is moving to Texas which is like the entire U.S. away! (awwww I'll miss you) and other people are intruding in my "private time" which I don't seem to have much of anymore.

And by the way YES I have a toaster…I still don't get it but okay…

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter…Or well I don't own it's characters or the plotline but I DO own all six books! (throws confetti)

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As luck would have it, James woke up late the next morning, along with the rest of the Marauders. The four boys rushed to get dressed and ready, swearing at their only alarm and realizing, unhappily, that there would be no time for breakfast.

And as luck would have it, their first class of the day was Transfiguration.

Professor McGonagall, as they had expected, was not pleased to see four students rush in late. "Ten points from Gryffindor," she scowled and motioned at them to sit down in the only row of seats left, the very front row.

Lily remembered back to her dream she had what felt like eons before. She should have realized it was a dream since, in it, the Slytherins were joined with their class, but in reality the Ravenclaws sat opposite them. When the Marauders all charged in late, she rolled her eyes at them and wondered what sort of prank they had pulled this time.

"As I was saying before I was interrupted," Professor McGonagall continued, throwing a dagger-glance at the four, very tired boys.

Lily, who sat one row behind them, poked James in the back with her quill when the Professor allowed them to quietly take notes out of their textbooks. Lily pointed to his blank piece of parchment, where the words, "What did you lot do?" appeared.

On Lily's parchment came the reply, "Nothing, now bug off." When James realized he had just told Lily to "bug off," he sent an apologetic note begging her to forgive him.

"As if I have any choice," her reply came.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," a strict voice barked, "I have already assigned each of you to one detention. Would you really push your luck for another?"

Both stopped their notes immediately, not bothering to question how McGonagall had known.

After that, Lily's day went as if nothing had changed. In fact, until lunch came along, she had forgotten that anything had.

So, as she usually would have done, she walked past the Great Hall and up towards Gryffindor Tower.

Until four voice shouted at her to "get your arse over here." Lily chose to ignore them and began walking faster. They chased after her, or at least, James did, reaching her before she reached the top of the stair.

"Why aren't you coming down to lunch?" he asked her.

"I don't eat lunch with the rest of the school," she replied, still walking towards the tower.

"Why not?" James whined.

"I guess because I never had a reason to."

"Well now you do, so come ON!" He grabbed her arms and began pulling her in the other direction. Lily made no attempt to be released. Rather, she enjoyed having to be pulled. James quickly became exasperated and so, when they reached the stairs, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her all the way to the Great Hall

Lily could have easily run away once he put her down, but allowed James to continue dragging her to their seats.

"You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" James grumbled as he continued pulling her towards the table.

"A girl needs to have some fun," was her curt reply.

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Potions, the one class Lily exceeded in, and the same class James barely passed. They had an essay on the properties and uses of moonstones. Lily, Remus, and Sirius hadn't procrastinated and finished theirs during the Christmas holidays. Peter and James, however, were struggling to finish theirs before midnight on that Monday.

The five of them were the only ones left in the common room. Remus was attempting to help Peter with his essay, while Sirius bothered Lily who, as expected, was reading another book.

"Lillers, what're you reading?" he asked childishly.

"_Redemption of Althalus _by David Eddings," she mumbled. "And don't call me Lillers."

"Alright, Lils, why are you reading that?"

"Because it's an interesting book to read. And don't call me that either. Call me LILY, Sirius."

"Okay Lily Sirius. You have a very interesting name."

"Oh for the love of Merlin, Sirius!" James groaned. "SHUT-UP!"

Sirius pretended he hadn't heard anything (or in his case maybe he wasn't pretending.)

"Lily, do you remember that time in second year when I put a toad in your book-bag and you hexed me to have an outbreak in pimples?"

"Yes, and that hex never worked," she replied.

"Oh, no, it worked. The pimples were just in places a lady such as yourself shouldn't see."

"Oh Merlin, Sirius. Please don't EVER say anything like that again." She pushed him off the couch they were sitting on and stretched across it. "Besides, that toad chewed up my essay for Defense Against the Dark Arts. You deserved that hex."

"But they STILL haven't completely gone!" he whined.

There was complete, utter silence, where everyone stared at Sirius with his or her mouths agape.

"What?" Sirius exclaimed at the looks on their faces. Everyone shuddered.

"Well," Remus said, standing up, "on that pleasant note, I'm off to bed."

Peter stared with melancholy at his essay. "There's nothing else I can do for you," he said to it, rolling it up and putting it away. "Goodnight you all." He and Remus walked up the stairs to their dormitory.

In the silence that followed, Sirius's stomach could be heard growling, which he took as a reason to visit the kitchens and leave James with Lily, alone.

Lily continued to read her book quietly while James's quill was scratching across the parchment.

"LI-LY!" he eventually exclaimed. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEEEEEE!" With a smirk, she put the book down and walked over to him.

"It's about time," she rolled her eyes. "I was wondering how long it'd take you to remember that I'm good at potions and you're, well, not."

He glowered at her as she sat down next to him.

"So, Jamesy-poo, what're you stuck on?"  
"Jamesy-poo? You've made a pet name for me?" Though he was disgusted by the name, he couldn't help smiling.

"I did no such thing. Sirius made it. I'm just using it."

"So you're plagiarizing?"

"It's only plagiarism if it's copyrighted. I doubt Sirius would copyright something like a nick-name."

"Never doubt Sirius," James warned. "He's off his rocker. He WOULD copyright something like that."

Lily noticed just how close she was sitting to him. Their arms were in full contact, rubbing against each other warmly and comfortingly. Their heads were leaning on each other, both staring at James's weak attempt at an essay. She didn't know how they ended up like that, but yet there they were.

"Well it's a good thing he didn't," she replied, "since I'm taking credit for it."

"But you just told me that it was his idea, not yours."

"Oh hush!"

"You hush!"

"I said it first!"

"So what?"

"So…" But before she could say anything, James pushed her to the ground so that he held her up with one arm, his (undoubtedly handsome) face looming maliciously over hers.

"I told you to hush, but you didn't want to listen," he smiled.

"Oh no," she whispered.

"Now you're going to pay."

She let out a squeak of fear.

"Just how am I going to pay?" she asked, half expecting the answer.

"Well, that's where you have a choice. You could 1) kiss me, 2) kiss me, 3) kiss me, or 4) let me copy your potions essay."

Lily pretended to ponder over this, and then sighed. "Fine…given that those are my only options and the majority are to kiss you," she looked seductively at him and puckered her lips, "my potions essay is in my book-bag."

James kissed her anyway, AND he got his essay done.


	13. Snowball Sirens

A/N: I need inspiration…like some sort of JOLT in my life. I've got up to chapter 16 written (on paper) and finished, but I'm really displeased with them. They're so…LULL-ish and lacking what I had at the beginning of this story. AAAH hopefully some sort of muse will come by and inspire me to continue. But let's see if anyone catches the irony in this chapter. To Kaila, yeah I realized a moment too late that electronics don't work inside Hogwarts, but it adds to the cuteness and I could just pretend that little rule hadn't been invented yet :). It is a little too gushy and I am seriously like…lagging on it.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter or any song lyrics (if I even have any in this chapter)

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"Mr. Potter?" the potions professor asked, scanning the room to see he wasn't there. "Strange…Miss Evans isn't here either."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter looked curiously at the two empty seats next to them, also finding it strange that the two weren't there.

"Wonder where they are," Remus said, turning back to face the front.

"And what they're doing," Sirius winked.

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Lily rushed past the Great Hall, still shouting crude remarks at James, who was running alongside her.

"It's not MY fault," James groaned.

"It's NOT your fault that we fell asleep in the common room?" she growled.

"Well…just because you fell asleep first and I didn't have the heart to wake you up…"

"Oh shove it, Potter."

"Sure, just tell me when."

"That's sick, Potter, that's just sick." They stopped speaking and walked into the potions classroom.

"Ah, there you are," the professor replied, giving the two a smile. "I'm afraid I'll have to take ten points from Gryffindor for your lateness."

The two nodded and sat in the empty seats next to the other three, ignoring the jeers coming from the Slytherin side of the room.

"Where were you" Remus asked.

"Potter here decided to use the invisibility cloak as a blanket for us when we fell asleep in the common room," Lily hissed.

"You were shivering," James sulked.

"Brilliant, Jamesy," Sirius laughed, "sheer brilliance."

"Essays please," the professor shouted, and 30 or so essays automatically flew onto his desk.

"Thanks, by the way," James whispered, "for letting me copy your essay."

"You owe me so much," she growled.

"I'll pay you back eventually."

"Oh fun, another cliché."

James just smiled and said no more.

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"The first week of January is OVER!" Sirius exclaimed that Saturday, when the five had taken the day as an opportunity to have a snowball fight.

"That means that our first Quidditch match of the year is in a few weeks," James replied, his face glowing with joy.

Lily threw a snowball at his head.

"What was that for?" he shouted.

"I was hoping the impact would release some of the air in there," she innocently replied.

He threw a snowball at her, and when she dodged it, he ran at her. Lily gave a squeak of terror and ran away.

The thing about that was that James was a far faster runner than her, AND he had a head start. Not only that, but he had a best friend who loved to torture everyone, especially someone named Lily Evans.

Lily was buried in a mound of snow within a minute. She came up with snow falling off her hair and clothes.

"That wasn't fair!" she sputtered, only to be pushed back down into the snow by James. After that, he could have sworn that the snow within a ten-foot radius of her was melting. "James Potter," she growled, "you're DEAD! DEAD YOU HERE ME? I WOULD HAVE STARTED RUNNING LAST THURSDAY IF I WERE YOU!" James didn't budge.

"Uhm…" Sirius stood next to his friend. "I think she means it, Jamesy. Better run before she takes her wand out and…oh…too late… Nice knowing you, Jamesy." With those words, he rushed off to cower behind a snow bank with Remus and Peter.

It was nearing sunset and Lily and James still had charmed snowballs (or ice balls in Lily's case) flying at one another.

James was still smirking evilly at Lily while she grew more and more frustrated.

"Hey Evans!" he yelled across the 50 feet between them.

"What?" she shouted back.

"Loser takes the other out for a date next chance they get!"

"Not happening!"

"Only because you know you're going to lose!"

That was the right button to push. "Fine! I agree!"

Sirius, Remus, and Peter walked onto the grounds, sipping mugs of hot chocolate, amused expressions on their faces when they saw the two of them still viciously attacking each other.

The darkness was a good cover for James. He made sure she couldn't see him and crept up behind her.

"EVANS!" he yelled into her ear. She screamed and, with a reflex, kneed James in his "private area."

The snowballs all stopped. Lily was doubled over with laughter at the sight of James writhing with pain on the ground.

"So, I guess you owe me a date," she smiled.

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"I don't know how she won," James said when the four boys were in their dormitory that night. He didn't want to admit that she won the way she did. "She tricked me. And now I'm stuck taking her on a date next Hogsmeade weekend."

"Oh admit it," Sirius groaned. "You're HAPPY you're taking her on a date."

"I never said I wasn't," James smiled.

"Why are you two doing this?" Remus asked. "You're both madly in love with each other and yet you still have to go on dates first."

"If I could have it my way," James replied, "she and I would have skipped the whole 'getting to know each other' thing. But she wants it this way and I wouldn't do anything to make her unhappy."

"You're too noble," Sirius laughed. "She might as well lead you around on a leash."

"Shut up, Sirius," James scowled, "just shut up."

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Lily wasn't paying attention to the chatter of her roommates (Amelia Bones and Alice Petroviac). Instead, she sat staring onto the grounds where the snowball fight had occurred only hours before.

Because of her lack of attention, she didn't listen to Amelia calling her name from the other side of the room.

"LILY!" she shouted, throwing a quill, which weakly fluttered, to the floor.

"What?" she said, finally realizing that they were talking to her.

"Are you REALLY dating James Potter?" Alice curiously asked. Her young face was full of life and happiness, which, as Lily had noticed, did not appear until she met Frank Longbottom.

Lily laughed at those words. "Of course not!"

"Frank says you're almost all he ever talks about," she said.

"Well, he wants me. I can't help that," she smiled.

Amelia giggled. "The two of you would be rather adorable together."

A person can remember the moment they first talked to a person, but no one can tell just when the line between acquaintances and friends is crossed. That was the case with Amelia and Alice. Lily would always remember _how_ they became friends, but never _when._

Lily learned quickly that Alice and Amelia both dreamed of becoming aurors, and that half of Alice's life was taken up by Frank.

Amelia had never had a "special male friend" as she liked to call it. It wasn't that she wasn't attractive. On the contrary, she was very pretty. Her interests just didn't have TIME for a boyfriend. She was always busy studying or with friends.

Bellatrix Black, a fourth member who shared their dormitory, came into the room fuming with anger.

"That begotten cousin of mine!" she yelled, throwing her shoes off as a bunch of snow dejectedly fell off her hair.

Two completely opposite people, Bellatrix and Alice. One was all for pure-bloods being better while the other surrounded her in muggle-borns. Bellatrix despised most of the Gryffindor house and loved Slytherin, feeling as if she belonged there, whereas the opposite went for Alice. And somehow, the two were great friends.

It's odd how life works.

Though Bellatrix _despised _Lily, though Lily was slightly afraid of Bellatrix, both found them managing to converse together, study together, and even laugh together. Bellatrix, undoubtedly, didn't enjoy being friends with Lily. But if there was one thing she was, it was loyal, whether to herself or her friends, and out of friendship with Alice, she cooperated with Lily.

How Alice could stand Bellatrix was a mystery. Both often had fierce and enflamed arguments and rarely, if not never, saw eye-to-eye.

Sirius didn't like it at all when, that Sunday morning, Lily walked down the stairs laughing with his cousin.

"Ew," he whispered to James, who was too busy silently laughing at the sight. A grin played on Sirius's face.

"BELLA!" he screamed, bouncing over to her and engrossing her in a friendly hug. Bellatrix gave him an icy glare. "So sorry about that snowball last night," he smiled.

"That wasn't a snowball, that was a bloody snow BOULDER!" She pushed him aside and rushed out of the common room.

"Why, Lily? Why?" Sirius whimpered, pulling a puppy-dog-eyes look on her. Lily patted him on the back.

"Good dog," she winked and followed Bellatrix out.


	14. Blacks and Bastards

A/N: Well…it improved a bit in this chapter and then died away again…bah!

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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James muttered some very vivid curses, kicking the bedpost. "I can't believe we forgot about our detentions!" he yelled. Lily sat uncomfortably on Remus's bed safe from James's wrath.

"There's nothing we can do," she shrugged, nonchalant at the fact that they had 50 points taken from Gryffindor and three Saturdays of detentions.

"Merlin! How can you not care?" he asked.

"Because it's better not to regret. Life moves on, whether we're ready or not. It won't wait for us to get over something before it throws something else at us."

Remus smiled at Lily. "She's deep, that one."

"Why BELLATRIX?" Sirius whined again.

"Oh shove off, Sirius," Lily groaned. "She's not BAD."

"She's not BAD," Sirius mimicked. "Only if you look beyond the muggle-hating, cousin-cursing, selfish twit she is. She'll probably become a Death Eater!"

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed. "Bellatrix is perfectly NICE. She wouldn't DREAM of doing something like that!"

James burst out laughing. "You don't know anything about the Black's, do you?" he asked.

Lily carefully chose not to respond, but watched the sky slowly darken outside. "I promised Alice and Amelia that I'd help them with our Herbology homework," she said, not waiting for a good-bye.

"She can be very rude sometimes," Peter said, watching the door slowly close behind her.

"She's got a fiery personality is all," James retorted in defense for Lily. "It's not a bad thing to have."

'It is if you're a girl," Sirius glared. There was a pause the he broke by saying, "Why Bellatrix?"

Three pillows went flying at his head.

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Amelia yawned widely and noticeably, seeing that it was nearing midnight.

"Please can we just not BOTHER?" she begged Lily, who continued searching through her book for the uses of a rhododendron bush, but to no avail. Bellatrix was already asleep on the floor and Alice was nowhere to be found. "Alice was the only one who needed help and she's not even here!"  
"Where is she anyway?" Lily asked, finally giving up and putting the book down.

"Probably off with Frank." A disgusted look crossed Amelia's face. "I caught them KISSING once. I'll never be the same again."

"Oh ha-ha," Alice's voice came from the doorway. "That's very funny, Amelia. Rather hilarious." She came over by them and whimpered slightly.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked her worriedly.

"Frank's uncle just passed away, and Frank won't be able to be my date for that ball they're holding for St. Valentine's Day."

"What ball?" Lily and Amelia asked at the same time.

Alice whispered a little oops and said no more, not even when Amelia began shaking her thoroughly, attempting to force information out of her.

"Frank's a prefect, isn't he?" Lily asked, putting one and one together, "and being a prefect, he'd know if there were any social events, oh, such as a ball. And he wouldn't DREAM of keeping that information from his lovely girlfriend."

Alice frowned. "You're just a little too smart for your own good," she whined.

"There's going to be a ball?" Amelia asked, raising an eyebrow at Alice.

"I'm not saying anything," she stubbornly replied.

Amelia sighed with defeat, poking Bellatrix in the stomach. The half-asleep girl growled angrily and shuffled to her bed, threatening horrible things to anyone who disturbed her.

Too bad the Marauders didn't hear these threats.

Almost the instant Bellatrix's head hit the pillow, the door banged open. Sirius and James (followed by red-eyed Remus and Peter) trudged in.

"This IS the girl's dormitory, you realize," Lily scowled, not at all pleased by this sudden appearance.

Bellatrix obviously wasn't either. She pounced on Sirius's back and began whamming his head with a clock. As funny as it looked, Lily pitied Sirius for not having better judgment on the female population. Meaning, of course, they liked sleep.

"STUPID, ILL-FAVORED, DAMNED COUSIN OF MINE!" she shrieked when Alice pried her off.

"Merlin, Bella!" Sirius exclaimed, holding his head protectively. "That's going to hurt in the morning."

"What do you WANT?" Lily growled, suddenly feeling very tired.

James, who had kept quiet up to this point, grabbed her arms and pulled her up towards the door. "We want to show you something."

"WE?" Remus croaked. "You and Sirius were the ones who couldn't wait until morning." He let out a wide yawn to prove that he wasn't enjoying the situation any more than the girls were. Sirius merely stuck his tongue out.

"Come on, Lillers!" he smiled. "We need your help anyway."

Lily's temper flared. She was tired, cranky, and annoyed to the point where she might have blown Sirius up.

_Bella would love that._

"No," was her answer. "By the sounds of it, this can wait until AFTER I'm well-rested and in the proper condition to face you."

"Fine then," James smiled cockishly. "We refuse to leave until you come with us."

At this, Amelia, Alice, and Bellatrix roared at Lily to leave.

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"You made this all by yourselves?" Lily gaped.

"Yup," James proudly replied. "And, since you're the greatest at charms, we were hoping you would charm it so that only certain people can…unravel its mystery."

"Who would those certain people be?"

"Well," Sirius chimed in, "us Marauders, future Marauders, and anyone else who wants to create havoc upon this world. Well, at least upon Hogwarts."

Lily stared at Sirius with an expression that clearly stated she disapproved.

"Please, Evans?" James pleaded. "Lovely Evans? Wonderful Evans? Merciful Evans? Do you want me to get down on my knees and begin kissing your feet and worshipping the ground you walk on?"

"You already do that, Potter." Lily looked at the map she was holding, a perfect one of Hogwarts with dots labeling each and every individual there was within school grounds.

"We made it years ago," Remus said, "but recently someone found it and almost turned it in. We'd rather not have to explain it to McGonagall, you understand."

All four boys stared at her with begging eyes. Lily signed in defeat.

"What do you want the…uh…'password' to be?"

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_Monday, January 10_

_Dear Mother and Father,_

_The reason I am writing this letter is to ask a favor of you. Every year during spring holidays, the two of you visit another country, leaving me to stay at Hogwarts._

_However, this year a friend of mine has invited me (and three of his closest friends) to stay with him at his parent's manor._

_Now, your first reaction at this will be NO, since he is a boy and, as parents, you would never allow your daughter to remain at a boy's home for a week. But take it into consideration that I can take care of myself and will be careful around him._

"What would you do if I told them you were some horny bastard whose levels of testosterone were soaring?" Lily asked, stopping her writing to look at James (innocently) in the eyes.

"Take you to my manor and live up to those standards," he smiled, just as innocently. "Besides, I'm not a bastard. I have a father."

"Right, mental note to never repeat with I just said…" She turned back to the letter, finding she had nothing more to write. "Might as well send it," she sulked. They'll most likely say no."

"They're muggles, right?" James asked rhetorically. "Well we could just charm the letter so that it seems as if they said yes instead, and then you'd show them it. They can't say that you were told no when it's in writing that they said it was quite fine."

"Pathetic," Lily mumbled.

"What?" James exclaimed.

"I meant that it's pathetic that someone with a much lower level of intelligence than me thought that up."

She regretted those words.


	15. Poems and Poets

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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A dark violet light, almost the shade of black, shone behind Lily's eyelids as she squeezed them harder, not allowing herself to cry.

She couldn't cry, wouldn't, dared not to.

The letter was still clutched in her hands, and she didn't have to look to know her knuckles were white from grasping so hard.

But she needed something to hold, and no one was around.

She wouldn't let a tear escape; she was stronger than that.

Or maybe the strong ones were the ones who allowed themselves to cry.

But it was so TRIVIAL to cry over, something she should just push aside and forget.

But she couldn't. It was, after all, her ONLY sister's wedding.

And Petunia had made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to see Lily there.

_You're damned Lily, ever since you got that letter from that _odd _school of yours I knew it. Your presence at my wedding would only cause an unhappy marriage for Vernon and me. We don't want you to be there._

Why did her own sister, one that Lily had spent the first ten years of her life laughing with, hate her so much?

This hate was different than the one Malfoy and Snape held for her. Lily still loved Petunia like the sister she was, or once had been. This spite and malice now held was scorning Lily, tearing her heart apart.

The letter had, at first, made Lily gleam with joy. After all, her sister was getting married. But when Lily read, re-read, and re-read once more the last few sentences, all stating that there would be no invitation for Lily, she had rushed to her dormitory without a word to the others.

And now the tears swelled up once more, but Lily fought them back.

She remembered when she had been four, one of her earliest memories of a day spent with her sister.

A dog had chased Lily around the block they lived on, and gotten a good grip on her leg at one point. But Petunia (with a perfect older-sister stereotype) had chased it off before it could do too much harm.

The eight-year-old sister found Lily bawling in pain, and kneeled beside her with a flower in her had from their garden.

"Roses are red, violets are blue. But a lily's MY favorite, and a petunia hers too."

And Lily never forgot that rhyme, the rhyme that had bonded them as sisters and best friends.

Lily repeated the rhyme in a whispery voice, unable to hold her tears any longer.

"Roses are red, violets are blue. But a petunia's my favorite, and a lily hers too. Roses are red, violets are blue…"

"Lily shouldn't cry, because it makes me cry too."

Lily didn't look up, but smiled weakly.

"I should have known," she said. "You always appear at my worst moments."

James knelt next to her bed, and Lily could feel his soft brown eyes on her.

"On the contrary," he smiled, "it could be said that I always appear at the right time."

"I don't need a knight in shining armor, Potter," she scowled.

"Sounds more like you need a knight with two bottles of butterbeer."

"If only I could find such a knight." Lily smiled, opening her eyes to look at him. He was smiling widely and, when Lily looked at his hands, he held two bottles of foaming liquid.

"You already have," he said.

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Lily didn't know what she was doing when it happened. One moment, she and James were sitting on her bed, laughing and talking, and the next the two were engrossed in a passionate kiss, with such a fire that both felt themselves burning.

There was no denying that Lily was in love with James, as much in love as a 14-year-old girl could be. And the perfect way his lips matched hers, the knowledge of just how much force James should use, and the wonderful flutter soaring through her told her that James felt the same way.

So much for being just friends.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, "but you're so perfect, even when you're crying and choking on butterbeer."

Lily laughed. "I'm surprised I have enough willpower to keep you at an arms length," she replied. "It's about time that the will drained away."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, James Potter, that I'm sick of being 'just friends.'"

And before she knew it, James had stood up (with her in his arms) and began engrossing her in a (more-than-friendly) hug, holding her close and not letting her go until she had repeated those last six words about 50 times over.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked her, finally settling down and realizing what she had said.

"I've never been more sure," she replied.

"Evans, you've been hanging around us Marauders too much. You just said a cliché."

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"Everything's been going too fast," Lily told herself that night. It was near eight and she was alone in her dormitory, uncaring to just where her roommates had all gone.

She wasn't only regretting her earlier decision; she was regretting her regret for it. The honest truth was that she WAS happy with James, happier than she had been in such a long time. But life was moving too quickly for her, seeing as how half of January was already over. She felt she needed more time, much more time.

_You said it yourself, Evans. Life moves on, whether you're ready or not._

She figured she had grown strongly accustomed to a stable life where the only things that changed were her height, length of her hair, and the size of her bust. So strongly accustomed that the whole month of change had overwhelmed her.

_There's no reason for life to move slowly when you need it to._

With a heavy sigh that carried all her mixed emotions, she walked out of her dormitory and down to the common room.

She froze when James saw her and rushed over to her, kneeling in front of her.

"You're not going to propose to me, are you Potter?" she asked, a sadistic smirk playing at her lips.

"Not quite yet Evans," he smiled. "I DO however, have a poem for you."

"Oh no…"

_"A Lily so tender_

_A flower so sweet_

_The smell of the summer_

_And winter's defeat_

"_A copper flamed sunrise_

_Though dawn is not broke_

_To greet those found sore eyes_

_That twilight un-spoke_

"_An emerald crushing_

_A fire so strong_

_Eternally burning_

_Can do me no wrong_

"_Lily this ode be_

_An ode to the earth_

_For fragrance of lilies_

_And a blooming new birth."_

He held a flower (a lily of course) and handed it to her. Lily had to use a lot of self-control to keep from bursting out laughing, which failed. When she hugged James with a thank you, she couldn't hold it in any longer. To her relief, James began laughing too.

"YOU, James Potter, are probably the most RIDICULOUS man alive!" she laughed.

"Being ridiculous is better than being 'Sirius,'" he responded.

"I heard that," Sirius remarked.

"Heard what?" James asked, feigning innocence. "I didn't hear anything."

"James, you prat," Sirius scowled. "Just for that, I'm going to tell Lily the truth, and that's that **_I_** am the one who wrote that poem."

"I should have known," Lily said, rolling her eyes at Sirius.


	16. Hagrid and Hiding

A/N: I'm sorry to those of you who feel as if Lily and James should be together already, because Lily expresses her doubts and puts them into action. I'm still trying my hardest to follow J.K. Rowling's original story plot line thing…

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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"I've lost control of my life," Lily groaned to no one, but the two girls surrounding her heard.

"What makes you say that?" Amanda calmly asked.

"I mean," she began, "that I never should have asked James out. I should have waited until I was positive."

"You aren't sure?" Alice questioned.

"Well I'm SURE but I wasn't at the time."

Alice and Amelia looked at Lily with eyebrows raised.

"It made sense to me!" Lily proclaimed. Amelia didn't let the eyebrow rest. "So I'm having doubt about my relationship," she mumbled. "After all, I only began talking to him exactly three weeks ago. There's no reason I shouldn't have doubts."

It was January 15, a beautiful (yet chilly) Saturday morning. Lily had remembered her detention before she even awoke and, for the first time in weeks, dreaded it. She hadn't given much thought to it before, but cleaning the entire trophy room with no magic was NOT the best way to spend a Saturday evening, especially because James was assigned a different detention.

"What if I told Potter that I really don't want a relationship with him right now?" she wondered aloud.

"A lot of good that'd do you," Amelia scoffed. "He'd never leave you alone until you were ready to take him back, and then you'd be stuck with him."

Lily groaned with aggravation. "I don't like who I've become. It's someone different from who I was less than a month ago, and this someone makes horrible, terrible mistakes constantly." She picked up her book off the bedside table. "I'm going to go read in the library."

However, she didn't go to the library. Instead, she walked through the frozen snow towards a shabby hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

"Com'in," said a booming voice from within when Lily knocked on the front door. "Well hullo there Lily!" Hagrid beamed when she came in. "It's been a good couple o' weeks since yer last visit."

"I'm sorry Hagrid," she said, putting her book on the table and taking a seat. "Things have been…different."

"Life's finally changin' on yeh?" he asked, offering her a plate of his famous rock cakes, which she kindly declined.

"I guess you could say that, but it's more, I think, that I've finally changed on life."

"Oh?" he questioned, sitting across from her, his chair sinking at his size. Since he was a half-giant, he made everything seem smaller.

"Well, a short while ago, James Potter and I met," she began, pausing to think over those words. "Well, he and I met before, but then we forgot and then we met again and then we remembered that we already met and I wanted to be only friends with him but now we're dating and I don't think I want to be more than just friends with him but I told him I was and I don't know what to do!"

Most people wouldn't have been able to say that all in one breath. Lily wasn't like most people.

Most people wouldn't have been able to understand what Lily had said. Hagrid was like most people.

"I din't understand a word you said," he said, laughing. Lily's expression looked dismayed and frusterated.

"What I'm saying is that I'm in a relationship with someone I really do love, but not in the way I thought I did and I want to get to know him better before it continues. I really don't know what to do."

"Well," Hagrid said, his kind eyes laughing gleefully at being trusted so, "it probably would be best ter tell 'im how yeh feel."

Lily sighed. "I was afraid of that. I guess the problem is that I CAN'T tell him how I feel."

Hagrid's face wrinkled with thought. "I don't think I could held yeh there."

Lily sighed again. "I appreciate you trying. Thank you Hagrid, this really was a help." With a smile and a quick wave, she grabbed her book and was gone, rushing back to the castle.

If Lily had learned anything in her life, it was that there's always an alternative.

_Always._

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James looked wistfully at all the suits of armor on the floor. There were at least 20, all ready to attack and poised for battle.

_And I have to clean every last one._

The prize for his labor, he would be alone with Lily afterwards.

But, after slaving for nearly three hours trying to make each and every reluctant, resisting, stubborn suit of armor spotless, after rushing down three flights of stairs to the trophy room, after searching each corner and hiding spot nearby, Lily was nowhere to be found.

_She was probably just too tired and decided to go to bed early._

However, when he knocked on the girl's dormitory there was no answer, no sudden hushing for silence, no whispers, not even a breath to be heard. One look at the Marauders Map told him that no one was in the room.

In fact, Lily wasn't even on the map.

He walked down to the common room, puzzled and too busy thinking to notice Sirius looming before him.

"Romeo!" he yelled into James's ear.

"Where's my Juliet?" James snapped back.

"How should I know?" Sirius scowled.

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Lily looked comfortably at her surroundings. She didn't know how she had found the room, but only that she had been looking for a place to hide from James, and found a room on the seventh floor that she had never seen before.

There was a blazing fire in the hearth, with one large couch in front of it that Lily laid on, a book open in her hands. It was quaint, cute really, and very comfortable.

James had probably looked for her after their detentions, but she wouldn't be back to Gryffindor Tower until late at night, when she could be sure that James wasn't there.

Sweet as he was, she just couldn't face him, not for a while anyway. Only two days into their relationship and she already needed a break. There was only one word for it.

_Pathetic._

Lily knew she was turning something small and simple into a large and vicious monster. But she wanted to take the easy way out.

_So what's the easy way? Running away from your problems? A relationship of ANY kind is based on trust and communication._

Lily despised this now cowardly side of her. She had once faced her problems head on, and now retreated to the protection of her shell.

Disgusted with herself, she threw the book on the floor and sulked.


	17. Irritating Insanity

A/N: Gah...

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

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Lily woke to a bright stream of sunrise pouring in through the window, facing what she knew as the east. Muttering darkly to herself for falling asleep, she stood up and left the room, making sure to be silent when closing the door.

The corridors were completely empty, but a few people could be heard in the Great Hall. The common room was deserted (with a relieved sigh from Lily.) She quickly strode to the showers, immediately planning an alternative schedule that would help her avoid James.

She felt foolish, childish, and incredibly guilty with her behavior. After all, James had done nothing to hurt her. It was her own fault she was stuck in the situation she was in, her own fault that she couldn't handle a relationship.

That was a lie. She COULD handle a relationship, just not one with James. Her screaming mind had won control over her whispering heart and she wanted desperately to break it off with him. But she was doing so in the crudest possible way, being a horrible person and a heartless whore.

She had two choices (after all, the choices you make are what determine who you are.) She could keep hiding, hoping that James would take the hint; but doing so was dangerous and could destroy their ENTIRE relationship, including their friendship. Otherwise, she could face him, spill her soul out to him, express every last feeling she had about…everything.

And time was precious.

Debating with herself all throughout her morning ritual, she finally decided on a choice.

And conveniently, awaiting her at the bottom of stairs was the one person she wanted to speak with.

"I couldn't find you last night," James said, taking notice of the fact that Lily wouldn't look him in the eyes. She hadn't since that moment she had assured him that she was sure she wanted a relationship.

And before she could even open her mouth, his voice echoed those words that had been swarming her mind for days.

"Lily, I think we rushed into this," he said, making her jade eyes stare into his hazel ones. Relief reflected in them. "You're not ready, I know you're not, and whatever the reason is up to you to tell me, or not tell me. But when I told you I'd wait for you, I meant it."

Lily didn't say anything, but a smile broke out on her face. James felt as if he hadn't seen that smile for an eternity, if not longer.

"What about that date you owe me?" she asked.

"Well, that's an excuse to act as more-than-friends."

Lily sighed, feigning tragedy once again. "I guess there's no chance to get out of it."

"Oh hush you…you…you trollop!"

Lily's laugh made his heart throb through his chest, and James knew that he really DIDN'T care how long it took; he didn't care if he waited until the sun no longer shone and the Earth was no longer there. As long as he had Lily, they could create their own sun, build their own Earth.

For the infinite time in a month, James fell in love again.

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"So, you two broke up?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow at the smiling James who nodded in response. "And you're happy about it?"

"Well, I'm not happy that we broke up," he said. "I'm more happy because I know that she and I were meant to be."

"Then…why'd you break up?" Sirius questioned.

"Because we, well SHE, needs more time before actually getting 'involved' with me." His smile didn't falter.

The other three (with puzzled expressions on their faces) let the conversation drop.

"Isn't the Quidditch game against Hufflepuff next Saturday?" Remus asked. Without waiting for a reply, he said, "What're you going to do about detention?"

"Easy, Quidditch in the morning and possibly afternoon, detention in the evening." James's smile still hadn't faded.

"That smile's getting creepier by the moment," Sirius shuddered. James's smile grew bigger.

Remus turned to look at Sirius, snorting with surprise. Peter burst out laughing.

When Sirius looked in the mirror, seeing that his "wonderful" hair had turned a nice shade of neon blue and his face pigments a metallic green, he lunged at James, screaming death threats all throughout the attack.

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"What do you mean 'a mutual agreement'?" Amelia exclaimed. "You're probably the ONLY girl that's EVERhad this much of James's affection, AND the only girl that's wanted to let go of HIM while he still wants to hold on to YOU. There's no way James would've let you break up with him without a fight."

"There were a lot of emphasized words in that statement," Lily replied nonchalantly. "And yes, it was a mutual agreement to be only friends."

"At least tell me that you two are going to St. Valentines Ball together!" Alice begged.

"We never discussed it seeing as how he doesn't know about it just yet."

The two girls sighed heavily, giving up on the copper haired girl they had deemed a best friend.

"Well, Lily," Amelia smiled, "think of it this way. You are beautiful, smart, funny, and a little secluded from the male gender. If you opened up to some a little more, you could have a large trail of them at your mercy."

"AND," Alice added, "you could then find out if there's someone better out there, someone more worthy of your heart than James."

"When is the ball?" Lily asked, unsure of what to think of their suggestion.

"Less than four weeks away," Alice responded. "Saturday, February 12."

"So, I have four weeks to create an army of drooling male fourth years and up, find a dress, and constantly ask myself when I went insane?" Lily asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Less than four weeks," Amelia smiled. "Better get started."

"The problem is that I don't know HOW."

"Oh, leave that up to Alice and me," Amelia replied mischievously. "We'll make it clear to every single guy that Lily Evans is looking for a date to the ball."

"But I'm NOT!"

"They don't have to know that. Now, as for the dress, just find one the next Hogsmeade weekend."

"And what about the constantly asking myself about my insanity?"

"I'd get started right now."

"How did I end up fitting into the female stereotype?"

"You went insane?"

"And when did I go insane?"

"You're supposed to ask yourself that, not me!"

"Amelia…"

"Yes Lily?"

"I wouldn't sleep too deeply tonight."

"Wasn't planning on it."


	18. Evans' Escape

A/N: I think I found my inspiration…I just don't know what it is. But (in my opinion) my writing improved in this chapter. Well I hope you're enjoying this story because I really love writing it, even if you don't.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter.

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James grumbled (seemingly) at the excess of homework surrounding him. Care of Magical Creatures (make a list with 50 points on why a Minotaur was special for the Ancient Greeks), Divination (create a sun chart recognizing the different phases of the sun in each zodiac sign), Potions (put together the recipe to create an anti-aging cream the way muggles make it and compare it to the wizarding treatment), History of Magic (who were the first wizards to decide on separation from the muggle-world and how did they go about doing so?) and Transfiguration (what are the proper steps to becoming an animagi?)

_That last one is easy enough._

However, the only reason the homework was so irritating was because James had other things on his mind. Word of the St. Valentines Ball had gotten out, and he was furious (more like jealous) to find a large list of boys constantly asking Lily to be his date.

And even worse, Lily flirted with each and every one of them. But when HE asked her, she had laughed and reminded him they were only friends.

"Since when did she get so POPULAR?" James groaned, throwing his quill angrily to the ground.

"Since she met Amelia and Alice," Remus said. "Besides, what're YOU whining about? You're not exactly being chaste (for lack of a better word) with those girls all asking you to be their dates."

"Mooney here is right," Sirius laughed, deciding to mimic James's earlier attitude towards one of those girls. "Why, Sandy, you have such beautiful complexion! _My name's not Sandy; it's Sarah. _Oh…well Sarah you have LOVELY green eyes! _My eyes are blue…_"

"Sirius, must you constantly remind me of my worst moments?" James sulked.

"Well you have so few that, yeah, I do."

James sulked even more when Lily walked through the Portrait Hole followed by some sixth year Gryffindor nearly begging her to go with him to the ball.

"…And you have such LOVELY green eyes and your complexion is so perfect and your lips are luscious and your hair is fiery…"

Lily, by the look on her face, didn't care in the least bit.

"He sounds like Prongs here," Sirius whispered to Remus loud enough for James to hear.

"Shut up Sirius."

"…And you're really quite smart and you have great style and did I mention you have LOVELY green eyes?"

"Oh someone please save her!" Remus laughed.

"LILLERS!" Sirius exclaimed, bounding over by her and interrupting the droning boy, who looked surprised to find himself in the common room.

"Well, think about it," he said, waving and hurrying upstairs.

"Oh THANK YOU!" she shouted happily, hugging Sirius. And then she ran away to her dormitory.

"She didn't even look at me," James sulked. "I haven't had an actual conversation with her since Sunday. Four whole days passed with barely any interaction at all! I think I'm slowly dying of deprivation. Remus, why don't YOU take her to the ball?"

"WHAT?" Remus exclaimed at James's sudden, desperate idea.

"Well, that way, I wouldn't have to worry about some bloody stranger…touching her or…hurting her. And since she already rejected me, someone who I can t rust should go with her."

Remus sat back, deep in thought. "Would you really not care?"

"Well, you're one of my best pals. Of course I wouldn't care, especially since it was MY idea."

"She'll probably suspect it you know."

"Better to fail trying than to fail not…trying?"

Remus laughed. "Fine, whatever you say."

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Lily threw a pillow at Amelia, who continued to laugh hysterically.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" she screamed.

"Remus Lupin, best friend of James Potter asked you?" she laughed. "And what'd you say to him?"

"I told him to tell Potter I don't need a baby-sitter. Now STOP LAUGHING!"

Amelia settled down a little. "Well it's better than Sirius asking you to go with him."

"There's no denying that," Lily replied with a slight shudder.

"Have you said yes to anyone yet Amelia?" Alice asked, already knowing the answer.

"Of course not, the male gender is only a distraction from more important matters," Amelia replied with a smug smile.

"Aren't you ever going to get married and have children?"

"No." Amelia's voice was firm, closing all efforts for the conversation to continue.

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"The Quidditch match is tomorrow," the girl said, making sure to thrust her upper body towards James. He was cornered in the common room, with no one around to save him. "I'll be there cheering you on." She batted her eyelashes at him.

"Who ARE you?" he asked, seeing an expression of hurt and anger cross her face. Without a response, she turned around and stomped away.

"Nice one," a voice said from the couch in front of the fireplace.

"Evans," James acknowledged, taking a seat next to her. "What're you doing up this early?"

"Reading," she said, pointing to the book in her lap. "What about you?"  
"Escaping Sirius's ranting."

"Ah. Well, we have something in common there. Bella's thrashing around up there because of Sirius."

"He's rampaging because of Bellatrix." He looked at the book in her lap, reading the cover upside-down. "_Lord of the Flies. _No Shakespeare Evans? I'm ashamed."

"There's more literature out there than Shakespeare," she retorted.

"I wouldn't know."

"You know, reading every once in a while won't kill you. It'd probably save you from pulling some childish prank and getting in trouble."

"Me? Get in trouble? BLASPHEMY!"

Lily smiled with a slight chuckle. "So who's your date for the ball?"

"I think I'm going to go solo," he said. "What about you?"

"I'm going with a Hufflepuff named Amos Diggory. He was rather sweet in asking me."

"And why do you say that?"

"Because he said he's liked me for a while now, not just ever since Amelia and Alice decided to overtake my life."

"And that's sweet…why?" James asked, trying to keep his jealousy from appearing on his face.

"Because all the others only asked me because of my appearance. They're shallow and don't REALLY like me. But Amos DOES like me, and he's the only one who does."

"What about me?" James proclaimed.

"You don't count."

"Why not?"

"Because I already KNEW how you feel, and we already discussed it. Therefore, you don't count. Now, if you don't mind, I think I'm going to get some breakfast."

"Oh but what if I do mind?"

"Then I rather pity you."

"Pity me all you want Evans. I'm not going to leave you alone at ALL today."

Lily blew him a teasing kiss and rushed out the portrait hole.

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"James, leave me alone!" Lily yelled behind her at James, who had lived up to his words. There wasn't a single moment where James wasn't within five feet of Lily. She had made the mistake of thinking she could escape him by running into the girls bathroom.

James had still followed.

"I told you I wouldn't leave you alone at all today," he smiled, casually walking behind her.

"You pathetic, worthless, insufferable prat!"

"Why don't you just hex him?" Amelia asked, also irritated with James.

"Because I already have two more detentions to serve," she replied.

"He's infuriating, really," Amelia scowled.

"I noticed."

"Is there any chance at all that he'll leave us alone?"

"Nothing's impossible."

"Except for one James Potter," Amelia sighed. "You don't mind if I leave you to suffer him alone, do you?"

"Go ahead," Lily replied. "This is my problem and I'll deal with it, sorry, HIM, myself."

That plan failed.


	19. Ascending Arrivals

A/N: I just had to get ONE sappy random little cutsie "awwwwwwwwwwww" scene in this story…even though I've had about 20 of those. Well if you're reading this you're either 1) Liking the story or 2) So disgusted by it that you feel the need to read it and find every little mistake or bad writing…either way thanks for reading my story!

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter. Or I do not own any of the characters in this story, or the scenery. Pretty much I only own the plot line.

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Quidditch- Lily had never particularly enjoyed the concept of flying on a piece of wood, especially in the midst of flying bludgers, directed to hit flyers. She preferred not wasting her time with the subject.

Yet, Friday evening, she had been warm and content reading a book in the common room while her friends talked happily of the upcoming ball. Friday evening, when she had finally gotten a certain James Potter off her back and wanted to keep it that way. Friday evening, while puny snowflakes could be seen occasionally falling on the deserted grounds, a pair of masculine arms grabbed her, carrying her out of the common room with shocked eyes following their path out.

"Potter!" Lily furiously struggled to get out of his arms, knowing that she would fall if she succeeded. But James's hold was too strong for her.

"Evans stop struggling," James sulked once again (he did that a lot these days). Lily struggled even more. "Fine, I'll drop you down these flights of stairs."

"You wouldn't dare," she glared, staring at the steep stairs descending to (what looked like) thousands of feet below her. James smirked evilly, taking notice of the fact that Lily had thrown aside her attempts of escape.

The silence that followed was only broken by occasional huffs of pride from Lily.

"Where are you taking me?" she finally asked, trying to ignore the smirk on James's face.

"You've never flown a broomstick before, have you Evans?"

"No," Lily said suspiciously.

"And yet you hate flying, even though you haven't tried it?"

"I don't HATE it, I just would rather keep my feet on the ground."

"You're down-to-earth aren't you?"

"Some people would say that I'm high-in-the-sky."

"Without the sky that is," James smirked some more. Lily resisted the urge to hit him, seeing as how he was walking down a flight of stairs with steps that liked disappearing.

"Where are you taking me?" she tried again, though she already had guessed.

Her suspicions were proved right when they emerged into the freezing air, heading towards the Quidditch field, where two broomsticks (with scarves, mittens, and hats) were lying.

"I'm not going on those," Lily stubbornly said though gratefully accepting the extra warmth of the mittens and hats.

"Evans…" James pleaded. Lily shook her head vigorously. "Are you afraid of heights?" he teased.

Lily scoffed. "Of course not!"

"Prove it."

"I don't have to prove anything to you."

"Evans, I'm shocked to hear that you're afraid of flying!"

"I'm NOT afraid of flying!"

"Then you're afraid of heights."

"No I'm not!"

"Well why don't you prove it to me?"

"Because you're not worth the time or effort to!"

"I'm hurt Evans." He feigned a knife stabbing into his heart.

"I'm not getting on that broomstick and I'm not going to fly!" she glared at him.

James didn't say anything, but stood still, staring at her with an expression she didn't understand.

"You're not afraid of heights?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

"No!" she fiercely replied, her tempter flaring.

"Calm down Evans, or your face will match your hair."

"My hair isn't THAT red!" she retorted.

"I could make it."

"Don't you DARE!" she shrieked, her anger rising even more. And yet anger seemed to amuse James. He let out a heart-felt laugh.

"Lily, you know that I wouldn't alter one thing about you. You're perfect just the way you are."

Lily pushed aside the compliment. "I'm going back inside, Potter. Please, for Merlin's sake, DON'T push me any farther than you already have. I'm infuriated with you enough as it is." She turned around and began to walk towards the castle, but James caught her arm and turned her to face him.

"One ride, please? I'll be with you up there," he pleaded.

"Why?" Lily asked, her temper cooling.

"Because I want you to share something magical with me."

At first, Lily was going to refuse, but the begging and beckoning glint in his eyes made her resistance falter and slowly fade to nothing, until her fierce "NO!" turned into a quiet "fine."

Lily clutched tightly onto James, afraid to look down. She had lied about not being afraid of heights, but had been too proud to admit it.

James could feel her fear in the way she held onto him. "Evans, just relax and let go of the fear," he advised. Reluctantly, Lily opened her eyes.

The view was breathtaking, and Lily didn't care HOW cliché it was.

They were soaring above the completely white Forbidden Forest, with the iced-over lake glistening a short ways away. The castle in all its enormousity glistened and glittered a further while away. Hagrid's tiny hut could barely be noticed with the snow and the dark, and wouldn't have been if not for the smoke rising from the chimney.

The icy cold air was, instead of painful, quite relaxing and made Lily feel calm and at ease as wind rushed her face. Despite the fact that she was still afraid of the ground hundreds of feet below, she loosened her grip on James.

And, though Lily didn't see this, James smiled, feeling her presence leaning on his back, her arms wrapped around his waist with a grip that warmed his entire body. Her breath was on the back of his neck, making his hair stand up for more reasons than the cold.

The words (thankfully only a whisper) escaped from his mouth before he could stop them. "I love you Lily."  
"What?" Lily asked.

"I love flying," he lied, a slow flush creeping to his cheeks. "Do you want to land now?"

"No!" Lily exclaimed. "I'm really…enjoying this."

James couldn't resist an, "I-told-you-so," and his heart melted when Lily laughed.

Something so simple, a ride on a broomstick, had turned into so much more for James.

_One more reason to love flying,_ he told himself, smiling again.

"James…" Lily whispered into his ear.

"Yes Lily?" James replied, beginning to shiver with tension at the way she had said his name.

"I have to use the bathroom," she seductively muttered, unable to keep the amusement out of her voice.

"One of these days, Evans…"

She laughed her beautiful, multi-colored laugh. "Oh, how cliché."


	20. Jovial Jealousy

A/N: Firstly if you haven't left any reviews I wouldn't bother with this part. Well in THIS special author's note, I would like to say THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO'VE BEEN REVIEWING! I don't know if any have looked at my profile page thing, but yeah I really appreciate the reviews and they make me feel sooooooooo loved and just…great! It's nice to know my writing is appreciated.

Disclaimer If you don't know the drill by now I'm shocked! I do not own Harry Potter.

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James tried to sleep. He counted sheep, listened to his breathing, and even went to the point of asking Sirius to sing him a lullabye.

Nothing worked.

Midnight drew closer and he still tossed in his bed, attempting to find a position comfortable enough for sleep to claim him. He needed to sleep, had to get rest for the Quidditch match against Hufflepuff.

And still he couldn't sleep.

Occasionally, he fell into a half-sleeping daze, but would quickly realize it and jerk awake, cursing himself for several moments after.

12:01 AM, Saturday, January 22.

James stared ruefully at the clock, each passing second an eternity on it's own. Giving up, he threw the covers off and changed into his robe.

"Prongs?" Peter muttered sleepily as James walked by.

"I'm just going to go for a quick flight," he whispered, quietly closing the dormitory door and pulling his invisibility cloak over him.

James immediately remembered that Saturday over a month before, where he had covered himself with his invisibility cloak and was going to go to the kitchens for a snack.

Vaguely keeping track of where his feet were taking him, he mused about that first physical (so to speak) encounter with Evans.

The common room was empty (with a sink of James's heart-he had hoped for another surprise encounter) with the fire burning down to its dimmest embers.

Where WAS Evans? Seeing the common room so empty just didn't feel right. There was something wrong without Lily's thinking body lying on the chair with another book in her arms, too engrossed to notice anyone.

Except for James, that is.

It had been an eventful month, with a whirlwind of change and a tsunami of mixed emotions. He wondered why he was so patient with Lily, why he could take her catty remarks and hurtful sarcasm when, had it been anyone else, he would've lashed back at them.

But Lily never infuriated him. Hurt him-definitely, upset him-of course, but angered him-never.

She had a unique aura (so to speak) around her. Her sarcasm and temper kept people at bay, warning them that she could (and would) bite, and hard. She used her wit to reinforce those two qualities that made her desolate.

But James had taken that as more a reason to know her, and pushed that aside to reach for the woman within. After all, had it been anyone else that particular Saturday, he would have walked away and forgotten her.

But Evans couldn't be forgotten. Even with the curse his father had set on him, a girl with flaming copper hair and dazzling jade eyes haunted James's dreams. A woman whose face he had never quite been able to see, but whose personality left footprints on his heart had stalked his unconscious.

And he fell in love with her. He fell in love with a female from his dreams that he would presumably never find.

_But I found her._

He knew she loved him back; she HAD to. Why else did she go on that flight with him, allow him to comfort her, kiss him with such a fire that James was thirsty afterwards?

And he slowly felt her falling out of love with him. James knew that, no matter how hard he tried to hold on, she was letting go.

_Just friends, she wants to be nothing more than friends._

How he wished that his promises to wait for her could be empty, with no feeling left in them, only words uttered at a moment that they needed to be there. But he knew that, even if his vow hadn't been filled with truth, he WOULD wait for Lily, he would wait forever if he had to. No one was meant for him more than she was.

But she still was letting go, and James knew that if she succeeded he would be lost forever. He couldn't let go; his heart wouldn't let him. As much as he knew that there was a large chance her life would no longer involve him, his entire heart rotated around her.

She was slipping away…

James realized he was shivering, but not from the winter air. He watched for a moment as the snow slowly fell to the ground, and then summoned his broomstick.

"Accio broomstick," though he said it with no heart.

The ride around the Quidditch pitch helped quite a bit, and by the time James landed, his mind had no weight on it. He (almost gleefully) put on his invisibility cloak and walked towards the castle, deciding to go to the kitchens first.

Maybe, possibly, Lily's stomach had led her there too.

What WAS it about her that made her almost all he ever thought about? Every thought could be followed to her, no matter which path it took.

He got hungry? He remembered that time Lily force fed him Christmas pie. He felt tired? He remembered a time when Lily had fallen asleep in his arms. He felt stressed? He remembered the time Lily had scolded him for not having a schedule planned out. He felt afraid? He remembered that time Lily was lost underwater, and emerged half dead.

James wondered how different things would be if he had not gone to find Remus that night. Part of him screamed that it'd be better that way. But his conscious guilted him for thinking that he would be happy without Lily alive.

And his unconscious told him that had Lily died, a part of him would have gone with her, the part of him that knew how to love.

James heard whispers from inside the kitchens before he even walked in.

The two occupants of the table looked at the door but saw no one there and assumed a house elf had left.

James's heart froze.

Lily was smiling happily, her hands entwined with a jovial Amos across from her. The two weren't even eating the food before them. Instead they were laughing at each other's jokes or answering the others questions.

They looked so happy, so content to be in each others company that James couldn't ruin their moment, didn't have the heart to destroy the contentment they both possessed.

"It's getting late," Amos grudgingly said, giving Lily a quick kiss on the cheek and walking out the entrance.

There was a silence for a while, and Lily finally spoke. "I'm sorry Potter, I'm so sorry."


	21. Everlasting Evans

A/N: While I was typing this chapter up, I was eating those goldfish crackers and inhaled a crumb and started choking…

Pleasant huh?

Hope you enjoy it! And yes, I have realized that my chapter titles kind of suck but hey, what can I say? I'm not good with titles.

What's in a name anyway?

Disclaimer I no own Harry Potter

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James stood rooted to the spot, wondering whether she had really been speaking to him or to his overall self, and just muttering thoughts.

"You shouldn't have had to see that," she mumbled, answering his unasked question. "I couldn't suddenly tell Amos that I had other things to do just because you stepped in, especially after he spent the entire evening doing whatever I wanted to do."

James took off his invisibility cloak and took the now empty seat across from her.

"He really is a sweet one," she whispered.

James held back a scoff. "He didn't even walk you back to Gryffindor tower."

"That's because I begged him not to earlier. I told you once, I don't want a knight in shining armor."

James scowled onto the table, the jealousy within him rising. He hated Amos, despised him. And he would prove himself the better in the Quidditch match, chaser against keeper.

"You're being childish," Lily chided, reading his thoughts. "We agreed to be only friends, as well as to have OTHER relationships."

James sighed with defeat apparent in every note his voice held.

"Potter," Lily groaned, "please don't…don't be jealous, I guess. I don't want our friendship to end."

He didn't say anything, even though he felt the urge to scream every piece of hurt he felt at her. He wanted to yell the betrayal away. For the first time as long as James could remember (reaching back to first year memories) he had never felt this pained over anything just as he had never wanted to destroy something more than he did at that moment.

"I'm going to bed Potter," Lily whispered when the awkward silence had gone on for too long. James didn't bother responding. He knew that Lily was disappointed with his behavior, could feel the hurt-filled and ashamed jade gaze on his back. But he didn't care. He didn't look at her, didn't bother responding to her nearly silent goodnight. It wasn't until minutes after she left when he finally moved at all, being asked by a house elf if he wanted anything.

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James hadn't slept one bit. He (just like the rest of Gryffindor Quidditch Team) didn't have an appetite, though his lack of hunger was for different reasons. All the anticipation, all the excitement and allure of the game he had waited so long for had disappeared.

James trudged with the rest of his teammates onto the field, the weather contrasting greatly with his mood.

How could the day be so calm, so sunny and even relatively warm, when inside him a violent storm was attacking?

_Because life moves on, whether you're ready or not._

And he didn't have to wonder where he heard those words.

As their team captains shook hands, James looked at Amos, looking so happy and full of life whereas James knew that he looked his emotions.

_Sad that one mans happiness cost another mans his, and the happy one doesn't even know the horrible pain he's causing ME!_

James really didn't concentrate on the game, but more concentrated on throwing the quaffle into Amos's, all-too-innocent face.

He felt childish, immature, reverting to secret plots of in-direct revenge that was undeserved on behalf the victim. But he couldn't help it, as the savage within him rose uncontrollably. The roller-coaster ride Evans had put his heart on (_hah another cliché_) for the past month made him feel sick, with a desperate attempt to vomit the anger out.

And, as he should have expected, they lost the game, putting them in third place for the cup until the final game of the year.

When the rest of the team had resorted to the common room, James furiously threw his broomstick against the wall, where it fell to the floor with a piteous clatter. And when the strong urge to cry overtook him, he listened to his heart's need as the only way to relieve the pain.

_If this is being in love, I wish I didn't have a heart._

Sirius, Remus, and Peter sensed that there was something besides the match bothering James, but felt it was better to leave James in peace for the time being.

And, as much as James loved their sense of privacy, he needed them to ask and pry, so that maybe, just maybe, his heart could heal a little.

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Lily had killed him; she saw it in his eyes during those brief seconds they were caught looking at each other.

The entire week had been dreadful, for her moments alone at least. She couldn't get over James, how she had hurt him. When she was with Amos, she certainly felt BETTER, but a small part of her always felt guilty.

Why, she didn't know. He had agreed on the terms of their pact, had known this would happen eventually. But she still felt so guilty.

And she couldn't get the memory of that flight out of her mind.

James was miserable; EVERYONE knew that. he even attempted to act happy, but his broken heart shone through his eyes, and his smile was n o longer what it had once been.

It all felt…

Unreal?

They hadn't spoken since that late Friday night, and two entire weeks had passed by. The Hogsmeade weekend had been spent with Amos, rather than the original plan of James.

Lily found herself constantly waking in the middle of the night from yet another dream of James, where the two somehow always ended up kissing, and _she_ always ended up sending a brokenhearted _him_ away.

Not only was Lily guilty for her fault of James's misery, but she also felt remorse in her hidden feelings from Amos. The two WERE a couple, and her thoughts of James should have long faded.

Lily remembered back to that first week over Christmas, when she had told James that if they were really meant to be, they would be together in the end.

She just didn't know if they WERE meant to be.

"Lily?" Amelia asked, waving a hand in front of her face. "You were spacing out again."

"Really?" Lily asked, looking down at her failed attempt for a History of Magic essay.

"You haven't been yourself lately," Alice commented, "ever since you and Amos began dating."

"Maybe you should break it off with him?" Amelia carefully suggested.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Lily shook her head vigorously. "He's the only one that's kept LILY here."

"Isn't he the reason she's trying to leave in the first place?" Sirius suddenly said, taking a seat nearby them. "Lily, Prongsy is completely miserable! He tries to be happy, but doesn't seem to be responding to anyone!"

"Sorry," Lily quickly said, packing her stuff, "but I'm not a therapist. If Potter can't snap out of his self pity himself, there's no point in bothering." And she quickly left the common room.


	22. Typical Teens

A/N: Well this is the 22nd chapter out of 24, and so this story's coming to an end. I want to get it finished before school starts and things get hectic once again and I don't have a chance to type or write as much as I do during the summer. Thanks much for the comments. The reason Lily didn't stay together with James was because of some form of primeval instinct sort of thing…she just wanted to be friends with him. And I have a reason for making it take place in fourth year but you don't really find that out until the end.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter.

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Saturday-What was so special about Saturdays? That one-day always seemed to hold some new exciting event that made some sort of impact.

James sighed.

One week left before the St. Valentines Ball, and he had half a mind not to go. There was no reason to, after all. It would be only four hours of sitting in a corner, refusing to dance with any girl who came along, watching as Lily and Amos got closer…

…And closer…

…And closer.

He couldn't handle that.

There was a knock on the door and before he could say, "GO AWAY!" it swung open.

"I thought I locked it," he grumbled, not looking at the door.

"You should know that wouldn't stop me."

James looked up in surprise at Lily, who stood in the open doorway with disappointment on her face.

"Potter," she groaned, closing the door and sitting on the bed next to his. "You agreed that we would stay friends, and yet you're letting that slowly die."

"You haven't exactly been trying to keep the flame burning," he replied.

"I'm not going to argue that. I haven't been thinking clearly lately, and I want to apologize for that."

"Evans, I'm all willing to apologize too, but that won't change much."

"I'm not asking for your sorry's," she flared. "I just can't accept the fact that you're being CHILDISH enough to let our friendship be left in ruins."

James was shocked at her sudden anger, and so he slightly retreated. Lily saw this flinch and attempted to calm down.

"Look, _James,_" she emphasized his name, "we're both guilty here. But you KNEW I wasn't going to be yours and only yours while I had a chance to see if there's someone…_better._"

James pouted.

"Ok, not BETTER," she corrected, "but more suited for me. And…well…" She let out a groan of frustration. "YOU ARE SO RIDICULOUS!" she growled. "I came in here with an entire speech nicely sketched in my mind, and ONE look at that pitiful pout and it all crumbles!"

James began laughing.

"James Potter!" Lily roared, "I just may end up killing you!" She couldn't help smiling at James's laughter, assured that everything would go back to "normal."

"So," James smiled, "can we let these past two weeks become the past?"

"You know that I'm still with Amos."

"Yes, and I can accept that," James smiled.

"So, can I leave without worrying about the cold shoulder anymore?"

"On one condition…"

"I'm afraid to ask."

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Sirius's face was red with anger. Well, the anger just made it redder at least.

"POTTER MADE ME!" Lily laughed in defense.

"He made you turn my face INTO A TOMATO?" Sirius roared.

"NO! A radish…"

And, to everyone's surprise, Sirius smiled. "You have to teach me some spells someday…Is my head really a radish?"

"No, your skin's just been charmed red," Lily replied, still wary.

"Well then, how long will it stay for?"

Lily took the charm off, just as James walked downstairs.

"A radish, Prongs?" Sirius questioned.

"You told me you hated radishes," James retorted.

"Well I lied."

James took a seat on the couch next to his best friend. Lily quickly ran upstairs.

"You look considerably happier," Remus noted. "Care to explain?"

"Evans," was all James said. The other three Marauders instantly understood.

"Women," Sirius scoffed, "they always cause problems."

"They could say the same about us," Peter quietly said.

"Speaking of problems," Remus smiled, "who is our dear Padfoot taking to the ball?"

"Why, I thought it was obvious!" Sirius remarked. "I'm taking one special Remus Lupin."

"But Mr. Lupin already has a date," Remus laughed, "and even if he didn't, I doubt he'd go with you."

"Who IS your date, Remus?" James questioned.

"Someone I had never believed would accept."

"Does she have a name?"

"Not one of importance to you," Remus mysteriously replied.

"So…looks like us three SPECIAL Marauders are going dateless," James joked.

"Uhm…I have a date," Peter blushed. "She's a Ravenclaw fourth year."

"Well then," James scoffed, "Sirius and I are the only dateless ones."

"Sorry Prongs," Sirius smiled. "But I have a date."

"And who would SHE be?" James scowled, getting frustrated.

"Since old Frank's not going to be here, he asked me to escort the lovely Alice to the ball and show her a good time."

James began grumbling something about knives and his back.

"You could try to find a date," Remus offered.

"No," James shook his head. "The only girls left are the empty-headed ones who believe their bust sizes can make up for their lack of brain."

"Funny, you never had a problem with those kind before you met Evans," Sirius commented.

James wisely chose not to respond. Deciding to change the topic, he turned to Remus. "Is there anything growing between this love interest and you?"

Remus shook his head. "Given my 'situation,' I refuse for anything more than an attraction. We're compatible _as friends, _so we're going _as friends._"

"Tell us who she is!" Sirius begged. Remus merely smiled.

"You'll find out in a week."

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Lily looked at the book in her lap. She read the first paragraph but dazed in the middle of it, so she read it again. This happened for nearly five minutes before she decided to give up for the time being.

It was 6:00 PM on Sunday, February 6, and she was in a deserted library. She had escaped for some peace of mind from all the talk of the upcoming ball. However, in her solitude, her thoughts ended up dwelling onto the ball.

Her dress had been carefully picked out (by Amelia and Alice), a hairstyle chosen (by Amelia and Alice), and a perfect schedule had been planned for the night (by Amelia and Alice).

_They're overtaking my life!_

She had taken pride in having kept her love to read, but she slowly realized that even reading didn't incite her the way it once had.

She was becoming the one thing she had always avoided.

The typical teenage girl

_Well maybe it's time I let Destiny take me where I'm fated to be. Socially that is._

She added that last sentence as an afterthought, realizing that if she hadn't said it, she'd be allowing James to win.

_But that wouldn't be SO bad._


	23. Dances Divine

A/N: And the Ball is finally here…

Disclaimer I don't own Harry Potter and I don't own the song lyrics that are in this one…I don't know who sings it but it's from the movie Anastasia (the cartoon one).

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The Great Hall was pink, all bright, mushy pink. There were darker pink streamers in a giant web across the ceiling, with a large banner saying, "HAPPY ST. VALENTINES DAY!" mixed in with it. There were Cupids flying around, ready to shoot any couples (or possible couples) that came close enough.

The sight was enough to make James gag.

There were already large clumps of people forming. James immediately found his three best friends and stalked over by them.

"The ball hasn't even begun and it already stinks," he commented, glaring at a nearby Cupid.

The other three only nodded, after which Peter rushed off to find his date.

James's eyes nearly erupted out of his head when Lily walked in (with an arm entwined with Amos).

Her dress was a deep violet with silver embroidery around the baseline. The hem was cut jagged on the bottom and barely came above her knee. It was strapless with silver flowers stitched at the breasts. The dress clashed wondrously with her hair and the emerald glint in her eyes shone even more.

Her hair was pulled back, with random curled strands dangling down. The back (and mass of it) was tied in a sort of pretzel shaped bun.

But what James noticed most was the searching of her eyes around the room, looking for (he was sure) _him._

Alice and Amelia followed, and their entire party strode over by James.

Alice immediately blushed at Sirius, who laughed. She grabbed his hand and pulled them away from the rest of the group, who were nearly positive she was going to give him the long list of dos and don'ts he had to follow.

To James's surprise, Amelia and Remus linked arms and walked to a nearby bench, where they immersed in a conversation immediately.

"Didn't expect that one," Lily quietly said, her amused eyes on the two laughing together.

James remarked on how sophisticated she looked. Surely she had to be an angel sent from heaven?

_An angel with blades as feathers._

"Amos," James nodded his head to the boy holding Lily.

"Hello James," Amos gleefully replied. "You played a great game the other week! But, the better team won in the end."

James kept his mouth shut.

"Sure, Gryffindor team beat us (brutally might I add) in the previous years, but it was obvious that there were certain individuals that held the team up."

Lily, sensing the danger, urged Amos elsewhere while she spoke with, "Potter here."

"He seems…special," James said with gritted teeth.

"He has his bad moments," she coolly replied.

"More like his bad lifetimes."

"You don't even know him," Lily snapped at him.

"He doesn't deserve you," he muttered.

"That's for me to decide, isn't it?" she fiercely stated, an angry red flush coming to her cheeks. When James didn't respond, she turned around and stalked away.

_Nice going, Potter,_ he told himself, mentally smacking himself on the head.

Just as James had expected, he spent the first two hours sitting in an isolated corner, slowly sipping butterbeer and refusing to dance with anyone with keen enough eyes to see him, all the while keeping an eye on Lily and Amos.

However, after those first two hours, an unexpected Amos Diggory sat by him.

"Lily's a great girl, isn't she?" Amos said, looking at the copper haired angel laughing with Amelia and Remus.

"She's certainly something else," James replied.

"You really like her, don't you," he said. James looked at his empty butterbeer bottle, not responding.

"So do you," he eventually said.

"Go dance with her," Amos smiled. "I'm worn out, but she's bursting with energy."

James smiled back, making a mental note never to let a first impression get in the way again.

_We were strangers_

_Starting out on a journey_

Lily was taken aback as the song began and she found her arms around James's neck while his encircled her waist and the two slowly moved together to the music.

_Never dreaming _

_What we'd have to go through_

_Now here we are_

_I'm suddenly standing_

_At the beginning with you_

Her eyes closed and she rested her head against his body almost instinctively. His chin lay upon her head.

No one told me 

_I was going to find you_

_Unexpected_

_What you did to my heart_

_When I had a lost hope_

_You were there to remind me_

_This is the start_

The beating of James's heart echoed the throbbing of hers. His breaths were shallow and short, but slowing down with each slow movement they made.

And life is a road and I want to keep going 

_Love is a river, I want to keep flowing_

_Life is a road, now and forever_

_What a wonderful journey_

_I'll be there when the world stops turning_

_I'll be there when the story's through_

_In the end I want to be standing_

_At the beginning_

_With you_

His body felt so warm and comforting against hers, and she wanted to be lost in the embrace forever.

We were strangers 

_On a crazy adventure_

_Never dreaming_

_How our dreams would come true_

_Now here we stand_

_Unafraid of the future_

_At the beginning with you_

"Are you unafraid, Evans?" James found himself asking.

"What do you mean?" she whispered.

"Are you unafraid of the future?"

"I…I don't know. I guess I'm not afraid of it, but more of the unknown mysteries it possesses."

"Sounds as if you need someone to make you unafraid…"

Knew there was somebody, somewhere 

_Like me lost in the dark_

_Now I know my dreams will live on_

_I've been waiting so long_

_Nothing's going to tear us apart_

"What's that supposed to imply?" Lily whispered.

Life is a road and I want to keep going 

_Love is a river and I want to keep going on_

_Starting out on a journey_

"You know what it's implying," James answered.

In the end I want to be standing 

_At the beginning_

_With you…_

James pulled away from Lily, his soft brown eyes lingering with her emerald green ones for a moment, one simple moment where they exchanged all thoughts, emotions, secrets, and Lily suddenly saw just how much she had hurt him, so much more than he had let on even to himself.

And then he was gone, walking through the crowd briskly, leaving Lily shocked and alone.

Amos stood next to her for a second, before facing Lily. "Lily, you're a wonderful person but…"

"I know," she smiled.

"I think you should go after him," he suggested. Lily laughed and suddenly kissed Amos on the lips, before bolting out the Great Hall.

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James didn't stop walking until he was all the way in Gryffindor tower, collapsing on the couch.

"Hello James," a voice said, entering the room after him.

However, the voice wasn't Lily's.


	24. Universal Union

PLEASE READ MY AUTHOR'S NOTE.

A/N: Well this is the last chapter! Probably one of my corniest, sappiest, and worst written, but I wanted to finish this story before summer ended. Well I hope you guys enjoyed this story.

Now I'm not really that proud of this chapter, at all. I tried to put myself in Lily's position for why she might hate James so much in the books, and I tried to come up with a reason. The reason I came up with is really…opinionated. As in, it would depend on your personality whether you could agree with it or not. I happen to get hurt really easily so I tried to make it something that would hurt me. But I'm sure there are people out there who'd agree that Lily wouldn't hate James because of something like this…

Well like I said I'm not entirely proud of this chapter.

And NO I'm not making a sequel.

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter.

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James looked at the blond girl standing beside the couch. He immediately recognized her as the girl who had cornered him the Friday morning before the Quidditch game. She had stormed off when he admitted that she was a stranger to him.

"Who are you?" he asked, feeling deja vu.

"That isn't important," she coolly replied.

"Who in bloody hell are you?" he scowled.

"It doesn't matter."

James's scowl widened, but immediately disappeared when she pushed his shoulders back, climbed on top of him, and forced her tongue into his mouth.

James was too shocked to respond, and primitive instinct took over as he moved his tongue with hers.

_What am I doing?  
_And, though both his heart and mind revolted, he made no effort to push her off. Their tongues kept dancing, even when he heard the portrait hole open and heard a familiar voice squeak a gasp.

He could picture the look on Lily's face; envision every single line of betrayal. Of course, she'd be hypocritical, but she had been the one to admit she wouldn't wait forever.

And she'd hate him now, assured that if he could sweet talk her one moment and French kiss some blond the next, then he didn't truly love her.

Of course, that was EXACTLY how Lily felt. She knew she was being incredibly hypocritical, but only minutes before he had shared an intimate moment with her, where more was said non-verbally than had been spoken. Only minutes before, he had implied that he loved her and wanted to be hers.

Yet she chased after him to find some other girl on top of him, kissing each other passionately.

The girl finally pulled away, looking at the pale-faced Lily with raised eyebrows.

"Your girlfriend?" the girl laughed. "Well looks like your boyfriend's been straying. He didn't even TRY to stop me."

The worst part was that James couldn't deny it. He hadn't tried to stop the unknown female, and instead had taken advantage of the moment.

The girl didn't say anything, but smirked egotistically all the while she stood up and left the common room.

_At least clean up the bloody mess you made, _James thought.

Lily didn't say anything, or more couldn't say anything, and James automatically knew that the pain she must be feeling was worse than what he had felt.

But Lily didn't cry. Instead, she regained her composure, adding more ice to her voice.

"You must have been amused this past month," she said, only spite heard in her voice.

"What does that mean?" James asked feeling suddenly enraged with her hypocrisy.

"Tell me, did you REALLY ever love me, or when we figured out what had happened between us _in the past_ did you feel nothing, and only saw an opportunity for another girl in your bed?"

James didn't reply, stupidly enough.

Lily took it as a chance to continue. "So there were no real feelings between us. After all, I never felt anything for you, EVER." It was a lie, obviously, but James didn't know that.

"I DO like you, Evans," James said.

"Well that's a pity, because I don't like you, at all, not in the least bit."

"I'll keep bothering you until you admit you do like me."

"So be it."

Unsure of exactly what had happened, Lily walked out the Portrait Hole and back to the ball while James walked up to his dormitory. All she knew was that she hated James, hated everything about him. But what she hated more was the stabbing feeling in her heart; what she hated more was that she understood what James had felt for her, but had thrown it aside, and her pride wouldn't let her dig through the garbage and get it back.

_Maybe someday, _she thought. S_omeday, I'll put this behind me, and we won't be Lily Evans and James Potter. We'll just be…_

Lily and James.

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James looked critically in the mirror, from his untidy black hair to his long and muscular legs.

He hadn't changed at all.

Of course, he was taller, better built, and more mature. But a little bit of that 14-year-old boy still thrived in his 20-year-old body.

Lily stood next to him suddenly. James looked at the petite body of his wife, who had grown only a few inches in the past six years.

There was one noticeable difference, however. Her waist (once tiny and invisible) was now expanded to signify the five-months along unborn baby inside.

"What are you thinking about, Potter?" she asked.

"How I finally managed to get you to the alter, _Potter,_" he responded.

"Everyone who asks will be told that you fed me a love potion until it was too late for me to turn back." She put her arms on her belly for emphasis to what she meant. James scowled at her.

"Woman, you are impossible."

She batted her eyelashes innocently at him. "Temper, Potter."

"That's Mr. Potter," he grumbled. "After all, I can't call you Evans anymore, and if we both called each other Potter…well that'd be odd." He wrapped his arms around his wife. "Sometimes I wonder if you're worth the trouble you've caused me all these years."

"The trouble I'VE caused YOU? Excuse me, but aren't YOU the one who daily tortured me, just to make me go out with you?"

"Yes, and that daily torture took a lot of trouble!" he replied, tickling her as he said it.

When she managed to get away, she said, "To put an end to those treasonous thoughts of yours, I'm worth MORE than the trouble I've caused."

"Why, we're definitely full of ourselves."

"I have a reason to be. After all, I captured the heart of the most handsome 14-year-old at Hogwarts."

"As well as 11-year-old…and 15…and 16…and eventually 40…"

Lily smiled sweetly at James. "Why DID I finally say yes?"

"You don't remember?" he sulked. "I had to bother you into it for three years…and the one time everything changed, I kidnapped you and took you on a broomstick flight, only the second one you ever went on."

Lily sulked. "You and your pathetic attempts at romance."

"It worked, didn't it?"

Lily laughed, hugging her husband. "How could you have put up with me for so long?"  
James dropped his voice to a whisper. "Once, I told you I'd wait for you, Miss Evans. And I meant it Mrs. Potter. I honestly meant it."


End file.
